The Walks of My Life

Day 1 after he left UK...

2012-01-27T10:57:00.012+08:00

...and yes,i'm back...

basically i just feel like blogging suddenly...

photos of us when he's here to be with me for a month!

The tower bridge

Him & Her

this is when he got really jello that my hot chocolate is prettier than his XD

Us in Durham Cathedral

In York

It's one of our favourites!

Well,prudence said i did a photobomb glamorous and i could't agree more :P

...and him playing his ps3

days of him in the UK...

had created so much more memories for us...

and even before he leave 2 weeks before,i'm bracing myself from crying but i tear still!

sigh...

after he left,my room felt so empty without his existence...

the paths we walk...

when we're holding our hands in his pocket cuz it's cold...

laughing and teasing at each other's jokes...

manja him and annoy him all the way...

picking me up after class...

playing his ps3 while waiting for me to cook...

all of these...i just missed it so much...

i guess,i'm just used to stay with him...

and do my daily routines with him in it...

...after this,it'll be 11 months...

term 2 is starting soon...

will be heck busy since it's the final term...

with all the assignments and dissertations...

hunney, i'm sorry for being such a princess...throwing tantrums and being ridiculous most of the time...but u do know i'm happy and i love u so much...one more thing that u didn't know was that i'm really grateful that you extended your time...i really am...i do not know how to thank you anymore...and hunney, i know i'm emotional...that's the one thing i can't control it...

i miss how you tie my shoe laces just like cinderella...

i miss how u wait for me in the room while i'm cooking dinner...

i miss how u cuddle me when we're watching tv...

i miss how u put ur arms around me at night...

but all of that, i just realized that is because i miss you most and i'm used to the life of having u in it..

no worries k dear?

i'll take care myself here as promised...

and you too k? you promised me! remember?

I love you most~

D.e.c.e.m.b.e.r

2011-12-20T10:18:00.002+08:00

It is december already! time flies...and in few days more bout 3-4 days,i'm going to meet up with my hunney! YES IN LONDON!!!! weeeee~~~!!!

In the meantime,i'm trying to finish up my assignments or at least half done it :)

And hunney,i miss you sooooo much...when will i meet u again after this? :( sigh..cuz i can't go back till my convo...but scratch that,as long as i enjoy the moment now :)
I JUST CANT WAIT ANY LONGER! <3

Without you...

2011-11-12T09:14:00.005+08:00

I had been really busy doing all the assignments which are due on the same month!

....then....i finally decided to take a break from my research proposal...

i was actually looking back at the old photos in facebook "photos of me"...yeah,that part...and i realized,i smiled and even laugh a bit because all that recalls the memories we had...

the part where we always went to club...yes,us 3 and then 4...the king kong,torty and piggy...then when annie came in...

the part where we always celebrate each others' birthday...

the part where i went to a genting trip with my sun and my zoo ppl!

the part where we do silly poses during our outings in DAC and AFA year!

...even in classes too...!!

our convo!

and all those beautiful memories...!!

slowly,i've started to tear a bit...cuz i realized,i missed you guys sooooo much...!!!

thank you for being there...for making me laugh *tho i know it haunts*

the wonderful and beautiful memories that you guys created!

the notty ones : charis,jl and MR JOHNNY :P and ofcuz the rest *dang! must claim for this title*

the quiet ones : you know who u are :)

the ones closest to me in class : well...the zoo XD hahahha

going thru all those photos,made me realized that we really had come a long way...

from a stranger to friends and now.... BEST FRIENDS!!

i will never forget all of u *unless i had memory loss* :P

and GORI and rest!! i havent forget you guys too :)

well...they always say that there's no such thing as "one size fits all"...

...BUT....

my sentence does!

which is....

I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH!

it's not even 2 months yet and i'm bloody homesick right now!

homesick as in spending time with my families and baby and ofcuz you guys!!!

I'm so looking forward to seeing you guys...!! i dun give a damn when...!! i just want it so badly that it could be tomorrow *blink blink* :P haha

anyway,

you guys just take care and you know where to reach me aite?

FACEBOOK!!!

or WHATSAPP :)

xoxo,

your laughing machine

Hidden Part of Me...

2011-11-05T00:04:00.004+08:00

You know, i've been missing my high school life soooooo soooooo much :(

One of it was like being in a world that's yours (although it's not under my control :P)

and another...my dancing days...

Those that don't know me,they only thought that i'm a ballet dancer (which we did tap dance too)...but other than that...i'm missing my contemporary dance :( took the hip hop classes outside...i know i don't look like 1 right?

But,recently,heard that there's drama club as well as dance club in my uni...went on and check it out...i didn't start the dance earlier on cuz i was too busy till now,i have time to settle down...the trial class was on Monday...it was popping,hip hop and breakdance...but i actually expect more than that like sex jazz and etc....anyway,i had fun there tho...

1 of the reason,tremendously missed the dancing days :( feeling like a hard boned old lady...and the 2nd was...guess what?? my lover loves dancerrrr :P but the main reason to join in because it's winter and i dun wanna get fat as well as to fill up the "missing dance" part days :(

and...

now that my fingers couldn't touch my piano...damn! i wanna take the lessons here as well :( owh goshhhhh...i miss the time and esp those romantic and classical songs played with so much feelings...

gahhh...

i'll go back soon i guess...

it's not even the second month here yet :(

hurrryyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

waiting impatiently~

Can I complain?

2011-10-27T01:41:00.008+08:00

I sooooo wanna complain a bit...just a lil bit...

i can't believe this...i spent my whole day sleeping like a big fat pig!!!! shitttt!!! well,i had class this morning...came back and lazed around on cherrie's bed,hopefully she'll wake up by then...but she did not...

looking at the time on my cell,it's already half past 12...decided to cook myself a brunch...while eating,there's this meter-taker-guy came over to record the electric meter and the gas...jeezzzz...!! can't i just eat my brunch peacefully? hmph!

and finally,cherrie woke up...it's edi 1 plus in the noon!!! was suppose to go out to town with her but the air outside is so friggin cold tat we decided to stay home (even tho it's sunny! The sun is such a good cheater) clean up my room a bit then I WAS going to take a nap...unfortunately,i slept till it's 6 in the evening!!! GOSHHH!!! time wasted T.T

can't do anything bout it...freshen up myself and went to cherrie's room to chat with her...she asked if i wanna go over to a fren's house for dinner...well,i said ok since it's already too late to cook and she's feeling lazy too...so we just put on our track bottom and jackets for the top...i'm wearing gloves cuz it's freezing outside!!!

after the dinner,cherrie and I went to library to do our research projects...stayed till quarter past 11...we walk like a mad and it's getting colder...she even said that it's the shortest time ever she had used to walk back from library :P

P/S: Library closed at 12am :)

Uni life has been really hectic...not the class kinda hectic...but the assignments and presentations!!! other than that,we're enjoying ourselves here as an international student...ooh ooh...before i forget,we went to Liverpool the other day :) pictures will be on facebook soon

i'm missing my family members sooooo much right now :( i miss how my sister and i teased each other up till a point where we can fight and argue...even my dad...all tho he nags a lot and give me the grumpy face,but i still know he loves me...and my BABY BOY!!!! goshhh!! i seriously miss that fur ball where he always listens to my heart...and my mum's cooks :( ofcuz my cousins as well and the friends!

Love life :

had been re-reading his old blog again...the part when he's with Eva...when i read,i start to realize 1 thing...i'm actually feeling the same of what he wrote there...never thought a person like him has a sensitive part too...but i guess the past had made him who he is today...

so i don't think i'll stay long this way since we talked things out and even if i understand,it's time for me to act my part...bye bye silly thoughts and jealousy! (oits,you're the same too last last last time :P never thought u'll be jealous and think too much! dun deny,it's all in your blog :P)

He had been really busy and will be busy for the days to come...but we still managed to talk to each other even tho it's just a short period of time...he's coming anyway in december...sorry dear that i gave you so much troubles...he hasn't update his blog lately...ofcuz,one of the reason,he's kinda busy that's why he only blogs randomly...

Although there's nothing much to read bout me and him,but i know how he feel and the memories will always be remained the same...Most of the time,he teases me...well,it's all the time! :P but there's just a chemical between me and him...

Note to him only : Hunney, you can stop worrying bout me :) i'm not that naughty kinda girl...yes,i admit that i'm stubborn...but hey! you're 1 grumpy too...and...I'm sorry that most of the time i made you angry,do silly stuffs that annoyed you and i'm truly sorry that you had to bring so much of my things over :P you just know how much chemical i had on u...i love you most.

it's been 1 month and a week here already...but i'm still feeling hard to leave my friends behind and my family too...since i'm like a sunshine to them,that brought so much joy and at times just too talkative like a chatterbox,it must really quiet without me being there :( and i miss how they made me laugh like mad...

it makes me even harder to sleep right now :( resulting from that long nap! DAMN!

can i drunk myself up???

anyway,i'm signing off...it's a bit of a long post eh? :P

chaoz!

....counting down...

2011-10-14T07:52:00.002+08:00

67 days more to goooooo~!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!!!
i cant wait to see him...

bie,if you're reading this,i want you to know;
"Every now and then,I'm thinking of you as always...without me mentioning it,you know how much I miss you"

Goodnight my sweetheart!

3am in the UK...

2011-10-11T08:51:00.007+08:00

i actually do not know what to blog about first :( because classes on these 2 weeks were only on the research project assignment...bloody boring!!! weather's been really cold recently...some even said that we might see snow early...some said,winter's gonna come early...blah blah blah...

i'm starting to feel home sick :( missing my families and friends and my baby...and even the food and the hot weather back there...sigh...how i wish my home country is just near to wherever i am :P

been sick...and it's really torturing me! grrrr!!! scratch this part XD

you know what,cherrie said that fb is becoming more like a news reporter...and yes i replied,"the next morning,our homepage is gonna be full of steve jobs death post"...she couldn't agree more...and yes it really happened...i've seen a few posts where they say iphone 4s stands for iphone for steve...even heard rumors saying that they lost the iphone5 prototype in the bar...such a make up stories...but to be honest,apple group have really created the one technologies for our quality life...and my saying would be ;
3 apples changed the world. -The first one tempted Eve, -the second inspired Newton and, -the third was offered to the world half eaten by Mr. Steve Jobs.

Now for the love life...
we had arguments...as how far apart we are now,i totally can understand how both of us feel insecure...it only happened because of 1 reason only,which is both of us do not wanna lose each other...but we settled out :)

few days ago,i was surprised by him...at first,i thought he couldn't make the stay of 14 days...but instead,he extended the stay!!!!! i'm still excited over it and bragging it out to my housemate :P so in these 2 months,i must learn to cook with a lot of varieties for him to choose...

oh oh...!!! AND!!!! not to forget,we might even go on a trip to watch the aurora borealis event...it's a very rare occasion u know?!?! but with him,trips to anywhere also will be a romantic ones...even sahara dessert :P

how thoughtful of him to think that 14 days isn't enough...yeah,when i made that decision,i felt that way too...but i do not wanna be selfish as he need to work as well...hehehee....i'm looking forward to the day he arrive :)

Hunney,I'm actually not crazy,but i really am happy when you get jello :P it means u care...but we both now understands where we stand right? as how much we'd been thru together,our love will only go stronger ♥

Do you know how much i miss you?
Till i dreamt of you :(
i hope time will fly to december and stop right there :P i just cant wait to see you,feel your arms around me and your breath over me once more...
We shall take lotsa pictures together,and i don't give a damn if we look nice or not,ok?

Hunney, do you remember this photo? it's our very first photo taken on the way to port dickson with jie...guess what i'm doing right now...
I'm actually looking back at all our photos which i can feel i'd a very teary eye right now...must be missing you too much :(

But i know,we'll meet soon enough and have plenty of memorable moments together...
I heart you,my sweet Macho Grumpy Face ♥

Being a student once more...

2011-10-03T07:10:00.003+08:00

It's been a week i've arrived in the UK...well,you know what? things here are MUCH MORE cheaper...like clothes,shoes,perfumes etc...all branded ones too!!! but the only thing which is expensive is the food at the restaurants :(

the weather here is changing rapidly...!! it's supposed to be autumn...but it seems like it has gone back to summer :( the temperature is higher than usual like 25 deg plus minus...it changes every single day...it can be freezing cold today and very warm the next...

classes will be starting tomorrow officially...the subjects are similar to the ones i've studied,just a level higher...and i'm learning proper english accent!! FINALLY :P southern ones are very much different from the north ones...and i'm at the north :)

Actually i'm feeling kinda nervous :( after all,i've stopped going to college since mid of may...being back to a student does make me feels kinda awkward...anyhow,i'll give my best shot! it's 12:22am here...time to off to bed!

Goodnight from UK and Good Morning Asia :)

helloooo UK

2011-09-24T07:29:00.003+08:00

gahhhhh...!! i shall update some other time :P
it's almost 1 am tho...and it's my orientation day tomorrow...gotta rest early :P
ohh ohh...before i forget....

tadaaaaa!!!
It's my new Union Jack flag bedsheet!
Isn't it gorgeous?

will update more when i have more time :)
goodnight UK and Morning KL~

31 days more...

2011-08-21T20:25:00.009+08:00

The title speaks for itself...it's a month more time that i'll be here in kl...attended a pre-departure briefing at double tree hilton ytdy...after listening to it,i'm even more sure that i'll love it there as they preserved the nature so well that the plants they built does not release smoke..it's all zero pollution...not to even mention bout the weather as well as the conveniency of traveling around the whole country...

Yes,excited as I am...Just like how my sweetheart is excited of leaving to singapore...the promises he made so far,he did keep it...as i said previously that how i wish to spend time with him before i leave to UK...well,he really did came back for a week...

Arriving on the 14th at 3am,i went over to pick him up...well...we did at least met each other every single day tho time spent was short...however,i'm still am happy because i had the opportunity to see him still...slept over after picking him up and need to work full day the next day...he even delivered lunch for me on monday...as promised,we went over to mid valley on tuesday and finally i got my new reebok shoes :P

On wed,we went for the night market as usual...as how much he misses the food there,i misses walking the crowded path with him holding me tightly all the time :) Planned to sleep over since we never will have much chance to meet up and i even exchange shift with my colleague...one of the reason was the road outside his hse is really congested in the morning that i could hardly wake up to avoid them...another was that i wanna sleep beside him much longer...

On that thursday,my fren and I went over to some guys house to question him regarding my salary...well,it's really a long story...after all,it's already settled...that's what most important...hunney and I still spend the last moments together before he left...on friday night,we had our dinner at Bubba Gum and watch Cowboys VS Aliens...oooooo my Daniel Craig :P haha...he sent me back becuz i was complaining bout my smelly hair...after the bath,i drive over to his place since i need to wake up early in the morning the next day..

Happy moments do flies eh? Tho the time spent together wasnt much,but i'm still satisfy that we're able to see each other every single day...To me,even a minute could meant forever...Now that we had to go back to our on routes....He went back to sg to work and me as well,working as usual...still working things up on the packing for UK :P i know i'm a slow coach...cant help it...

Hunney, I know you must be worried even though u denied it :P but i am not leaving you k? Just kinda excited for leaving this hot-weather country and experience sth new for myself...with greens all around...Just like how u're excited when you leave to sg...All these while,the promises you made to me, had been kept and you did promise me to come k? 14 days at least plsssss *puppy eyes*purrrrr* :P

Thank you dear for coming back...even tho it's just a week...it's better than ntg still...and i still get to spend the most of it with you...that does not compare to the visits of u to ah toh hse k? :P hehe...as how u always say it,we have forever...*DO BEHAVE* :P

Love you,my mr grumpy face :P

it does seems like i still have lotsa days eh? BUT HEY! it isn't...i still gotta pack and clean my room...which is really messy :P it takes forever..!! GRRR!! hrmmm...so far...all i needed,i had bought it edi...but there isn't much to bring tho...just the girl's stuff which is loads! anyway,will be updating my blogs with pics when i'm there...
A TOAST TO MY NEW LIFE :P

Grumpy face,till we meet again....in UK ♥

When things don't seem to be how you expect it~

2011-07-06T00:25:00.009+08:00

Wow...!! it's been so long i update this thing...so not gonna go month by month, will just key in wateva i had in mind right now...

Things had been really tough since March till May...been busy like there's no time for anything at all...there's a few changes here and there...few tough decision to make too...but i've decided, that's what's most important...

Thought of continue-ing my ACCA outside with the international colleges as they allow to choose which subject to take first...I've always wanted a different lifestyle...not Malaysian types...more to English ppl...

Been surveying a few colleges and unis abroad...mostly are from UK...well, UK has been famous for accounting courses :P went on and gather all infos...had finally came to a forked road where I have to choose between what I want and what I'll be risking if I took that path...

To help with my decision, I went over to the Teesside University Regional Office for consultations...after clearly being told what they will be offering, which supposedly a degree programme needed to be done in 3 years time but I have an offer of just entering into the final year...

Didn't wanna waste what was offer to me, I knew what I wanted...discussed still with my dad...and he agreed! well, goodbye Malaysia~!! It has been my home for 21 years...but i just cant wait to fly off to a new place and start over with new culture...excited but ofcuz nervous as well...

speaking of which where love comes...definitely it's vv hard to leave ur loved ones behind...but it's not like i'm not coming back tho...I'll miss my baby :( as well as the man that brings so much emotions in me...

It's early July already and I've only 2 months left to shop before i fly off...anyway,we have sales everywhere :P

Went over to singapore on 4th June...family vacation..
Met my love there as well...fighting against time,but still,it's 1 moment that will be memorable...it's been a month plus since the last i met him...there are times where i wish to hug him or even cry on his shoulder...but too bad, distance!
Hoping that he'll have time to come back before i fly off to UK...

But he promised to come over to UK as well ^^

Hunney, Darling is missing you tremendously...Knowing you're working hard there, just take care alright? For a year plus, I can't be by your side...But distance never keeps us away...At least we know what's in front of us and how we felt so much for each other ♥ The promises we made, will be kept...

BTW...i'm working full time right now at mont kiara...well, needed income as well to spend for the shopping for UK stuffs :P as well as, to be exchange for pounds sterling..just text or ring me up if u're around the area :)

Unable to stay...Unwilling to leave~

there are times where i cried silently for the reason of missing you~

a step further...

2011-04-26T02:33:00.009+08:00

yuhooooooo~~~ i finally found a time to blog again...
hrrmmm...i stopped at jan aiy??
so...

February : it's CNY!!! uh huh!!! as usual,i went to bie's place again as i said,they have this open house event every year...bie came to pick me up from my hometown...i'm glad that this time,we make a better turn for mua dad =) and intern starts at cho 5 =(

As usual,the 14th,he's working for deftones...so we didnt spend our valentine together...it's ok for me...valentine days are worse than inflations! the prices just for a set dinner cost a fortune! a lil exaggerating...but...that's how it is...to me,my valentine days are the days we spend time with each other...after all,he's the main role in it =D

there's this one night,he sms-ed me that he woke up half way dreaming bout me...and i love how he say that he smell my hair fragrance on his pillow and that he missed me ^^

somewhere in between,he almost gave up...was so heartbreaking...however...we manage to save it back...

March : the happiest month so far! he came by my office and took lunch with me...it's the first time and he went off for work after that...i remember how sweetheart dun wan any bday surprises from me,so we make it simple and had dinner at tenji...off to movida to celebrate sun's bday after that...it was the first time ever in so long that we club together...but hunney,i'm sorry that i'm drunk and need to u to drive all the way back =(

on the 20th,we were suppose to go to putrajaya hot air balloons festival but i couldnt make it cuz i got no car at home...plan changed and he came to pick me up...we went for the famous yong tao foo at ipoh road and off to low yat...he made me cried for buying me a laptop...as he always knew that i want a laptop of my own...Sony Vaio it is and i'm still loving it...*shhhh...it's just me...our lappie has the same colour =P* went back to homey,installed and off to 1u for movie =D

on the 26th,it's my bday you know...well,it's just isn't officially yet...but celebrating earlier...here are some pics of it...♥ cake 1

Yours truly

Baby is part of the family too ♥

well...this wasn't as i planned...it was suppose to be a bigger party i had in my new hse...with a club theme...however,sth came up so was switch to a simple 1...thanks for those who come...u guys really made it happened...and for those who didnt,still,thanks for remembering and the prezzies as well =D

i'm glad as well that hunney made it in the end...which i know,he is really really tired and rushing to my place...hunney,thanks a lot for ur presence and the lappie ♥

Happy 21st Birthday to me-self~!!

an adult finally...sigh...i'm just old =( too fast!

I'm Back~!!

2011-04-20T00:29:00.009+08:00

AloooooHaaaa~~~!!!!
hahaha...yeah...i know...it's been quite some time i update my blog and it does seems so dead eh? tis time,i promised...with pichas =D it was the same ol' reasons...hectic schedules...ACCA was really a tough climb path...but,i believe,it's always never give up =)

OH...BTW~~~~
my blog is ALIVE with colours...!!! muahahaha...after sooo many months!

December : Somewhere in december,i remembered i did sth embarrassing in lecture hall...As popular as i am already,this adds on to my popularity...well,i kinda "HAR" loudly in the lecture hall...but there's always a story behind eh...mine was,the lecture was going too fast and the we couldnt copy down that fast and before we could finish it,he already moved on to next slide...LOL...everyone looks at me as i hide my face and they clapped their hands...hmmm...what for huh?? i dun get it as well =P

And somewhere in between,i remember bumping into bie ON THE ROAD~!! YEAH!!! again!!! but this time,we're on the same route!! i guess he didnt see me...i cut thru him,since i'm already late for class...and all i see was his lanci face =P guess he must be very tired after his work =)

As for my 11th month anni,bie brought me to Itallianese for din din =D i hate eating raw meats...however,the food there was really goood!! and i dun feel a bit disgusting at all =D

January : The best thing on this month was my 1st year anniversary gift from my sweetheart...well,at first,i was really disappointed that he almost canceled it due to a show...but in the end,we went!! =D

We went to PD...well,i know first thing u guys thought of it was a common place...but heck no,the room we stayed at had a private pool and the room is really beautiful...plus,hunney knew that i love beaches...

On the way to PD!!

You can even see the pool from the bathroom!

At the beach,taken by him~

It's a trip-pey Jan after all =D on my daddy's bday,we went to Sungkai...LOL...i haven even upload those photos into fb yet...but really no time mar =P

ooh ooh!! before i head to bed,
I'm going to get my belly pierced tomorrow!
yeah,i'm really excited =)

hunney,thanks a lot for making an effort to make all these happened...!! I love the holiday and I wish to go more with you..I still love you each and every day ♥

November!

2010-12-01T19:18:00.005+08:00

20112010 : yes again,i'm going to his house to overnight...it's been a week plus i hadnt see him...i went there late,reach bout 9 or 9 plus...somehow,something happen that made me really really really angry and disappointed of him! but i'm not posting it out...it's just between us...

21112010 : still the same...the anger and disappointments are still in me...but somehow,we manage to talk it out...i never tot of this...that he cancel 1 whole SG show...ofcuz it's not only because of me...but i felt vv much of touched feelings...

24112010 : i've been slipping my tongues lately! i wondered why...we watched "grown ups" i guess if i hadn't mistaken and when i wanted to say spa + facial,i said spacial instead...and the usual him was laughing non stop! =D

27112010 : had dinner with his family...we went to a place where each of us ate a dish of fish for each! imagine that...daddy and mummy knew tat i couldnt finish up 1 fish,they order 1 for both me and sweetheart =) that night,bie was doing something that made me fall for him so much for all these months...those small detailed movements! he helped me removed the fish bones~!!! awwww...my sweetheart,u're just as sweet as ever! i love you =)

29112010 : sigh...this one is bout frenship...you know,time really change a person! i went to college as usual and i overheard some chats...i know nothing bout this "K" anymore...it was never like the past...she would never call me out anymore even if she's near...it's not just once or twice...but...at least,i do know that what type she is...

my mood was very bad until i had this fancy dinner with my family...this is my 2nd time...bill was amounting to 400++ rounded up to 500 bucks! tat's not all...i even had my fav ice cream at pavilion,the "fruity gelato" with my fav flavour =)

30112010 : again...i overheard her...well,i cant help it since we're sitting so close to each other...she was inviting one of her "current best bud" out...she said that she'll call if she's nearby...things really do change eh? we used to be best bud...but just because of her studies sticking to new ppl and a period of silence with me,she thought i neglected her...she cried in front of ppl and lastly,in front of me...being dramatic all she was...

i explained to her what really did happen...but i guess she don't get it at all,since she's a lil slow type of person...otherwise,we wouldnt be at where we are now...sigh...ppl changed! AND vv fast as well...

that was all for that month!

currently still very busy preparing for examinations!

a lil of 'ere and there

2010-12-01T18:41:00.002+08:00

05112010 : since he's on holiday,i am as well...so i might just go over and overnight there...spending some precious moment with him...reach his home bout 1 plus and he's still sleeping...i even cook him a breakfast...then we took a nap...we had din din at home with his parents...sitting so closely to them and when the ever so furious mummy talks to me,i stumbled but i still kept myself calm! =P ahah...after din din,we went for a movie at Mid Valley watching "Megamind 3D"...we were wanting to watch sth else...but it's outta tickets! =(

06112010 : i didnt sleep well for the one whole night...i didnt know why but i kept waking up...and finally,he too woke up...went to leisure mall to have subway sandwiches...spending the voucher of "buy 1 free 1"...after that,we went to the cinema but luck wasn't by our side...tickets sold off for unstoppable or else,it's a bit late...bie couldnt cuz he have some place to go...

so we went off,bie kept complaining...saying that i wore so nice and even make up,we must watch movie...OWH so silly sweetheart~~ hearing this,i'm so happy because he do notice small stuffs bout me which my past didnt...but i have to be understanding as well,i dun wana cause him late...instead,we went to public bank and then to car wash =) we spend a lil time more at home and then he's off to toh's house...

09112010 : it's another day spending with him again...i went straight off to his house after my class...this time i didnt get him anything to eat cuz i thought that he would be sleeping the whole time...woke up and daddy say someone's treating their family for dinner...he kept asking me to go but i didnt want to...first off, i'm not in appropriate attire and no make ups...second off,i guess dinner is waiting for me by home...

it's just a lil updates from spending time to time with my precious one...

days were ordinary, except tat we're busy preparing for test and assignments...

tough days it was~~

Updates~~

2010-11-20T01:50:00.007+08:00

Hello ppl~~~ i'm back!! from nowhere...been busy doing all those assignments...it's like alternatively weeks,we gotta submit assignments then on the next,we got test...yeah i know,it's like wat der hell!! it's gonna be a long post on memorables moments only =D and it will be painful to read without those colourful colours!

21102010 : it's ah toh's baby full moon!! and guess what,bie brought me along!! i know it's like a small matter to some of you ppl,but to me,it isn't...knowing his frenz it's wat i had been hoping long for...i met so many of his frens too and i get to carry the baby...i felt so nervous and afraid cuz the baby is sooooo petite...so fragile...

had fun all night long there...all the drinking,eating,knowing them,playing and talking nuisance! overall,it's been nice knowing them...esp tat Mr Darlie and the ever so playful ah Toh...i heard sweetheart said that i'm drunk...i guess i've been drinking non stop...for 2 reasons...1,he didnt tell me sth (but i got over it already) and 2,ofcourse it's the ol' me who cant resist =P

22102010 : there are signs of sweetheart getting sick soon...i felt so useless...i cant even do anything to make him feel better...wana cook him sth to eat or maybe some herbal tea oso cant...i can,but he's working...how am i suppose to give him?

25102010 : yes i know it's a monday...went to a midnight movie with bie...watch "The Other Guys" at 1u...i had class early in the morning the next day too..but it's vv hard to reject's your own bf...even tat king kong said tat...i guess she had settled down...and esp in my case,it's not always we can be together,tho he always mention tat we can spend time together anytime...

well,i just wana spend my time with him whenever i can...unless,i really really really cant!

31102010 : it's our 9th month anni and i totally forgotten bout it until bie wishes me...that was after so long,he remembered and i'm the one who's forgotten bout it...seriously,small things like tat can make me feel so happy...at night,we went to 1u for movie again...we watch "takers"...it was a midnight show...so yeah! the next day,i totally have this zombified face on me =P

Happy 9th month~

NOVEMBER comes...

we had a few arguments here and there...but hey! in which relationship has no arguments? if there isn't,then that's really a big prob...it's proven with a research...but i guess we'd talk it out...

04112010 : the date looks familiar right? well,it's UniQlo launching day...from fb,i get to see so many ppl queue-ing up a long line just to go in and get some shirt...me and bie went there at night...there's even barricade! god! imagine the crowd~!!

we walked around...and for the 2nd time,we went to pavilion =) it's been so long we walk the malls like this...went to "Sushi Tei" to have our din din~~ deeeeliiiciousss...but...service was so-so only...i didnt get to eat my "Fruity Gelato" ice cream =( cuz there's no more room for it =P

suppose to go to his house to overnight then go for holiday the next day,but we didnt make it...cuz he didnt tell me the plan earlier...it's like too rush...so,next time i guess...went back home and watch some movies with him =) and then,he send me back...

I'll stop right here and continue in the next post~~

gotta continue on my studies...yeah,test again =(

just gotta hang on for 1 more week!! and then,i can get my sleeps back =P

tata~~

Just a dream~

2010-11-03T23:00:00.002+08:00

It is just for me to read

It just felt so real that i couldn't differentiate what's real and what's not~

Another New Sem...

2010-10-03T21:55:00.000+08:00

27092010 : Back to college...

It's tortoise's birthday today...hl had planned 2 surprises for her...we were expecting the disappointed face from her...but she didnt show it out T.T when the 2nd surprise came in,she was so shocked...and we even recorded a video of it...i'm not in it cuz i'm the 1 holding the cam...nothing out of the extraordinary in college...it's just the same me who's talking and blabbing non stop =P

and king kong told me that brandon said i slim down already...goshh!! so means that day,he wasn't lying and joking lar...haha...happy ofcourse and i'm keeping it up =D

30092010 : it's the 8th month anniversary and yet we didnt wish each other...cuz we're both forgetful ppl...so just be it...and yet this time,i even forget bout it...nvm,the first year anni will come =D

01102010 : as planned,went to sunway pyramid for skating...after so long for not skating,i'm rusted inside...lolz...everyone falls except me and ck...haha...and i even throw ice to them...hehe...had fun there tho...

had been spending most of the days with my sweetheart...cuz he'll be busy for the coming weeks i guess...saying that next month oni he's free...this was the last week i'll be seeing him i guess...

well,on the saturday,we didnt go out...instead,spending those precious time with him,bennie and daddy...went to kajang there for dinner...as for them,they love the soups there...for some of u out there,u guys might thought,"what?!?! saturday,pak tor at home?!?!" BUT...for me,i love the way it is because we get to talk whereas we can't do that much of inner-talks in public...it felt so hang fuk being every seconds close to him...

still,on the sunday,i went over again...ppl's having tea by that time,but for him,it's his breakfast...yeap...he woke up suppa late...i dabao for him and i tot of going for a swim...but he gotta wash his shoes and i got no shirts =( i soooo wanted to swim...but anytime lar...i went home before dinner...leaving him,it's so hard...

there are ppl asking me,"not bored after being in a long term relationship?"

all i answer was,"if you get bored so easily now,how are u going to stay forever when u get married? furthermore,i've been into a longer term relationship summo...and drew's lifestyle is affecting me...in a way,i still feel so fresh whenever we meet each other and having the urge of wanting to see him...might be because of his job...which we get to meet whenever he's free and we cant when he's busy...at times...we didnt even get to meet for a month"

Sweetheart,

i might be late for this...and you might not have the time to read my post...

i just wana say...

Happy 8th Month!

and...

I'll cope with you like how you did with me...

I don't mind cuz I know the way you work and how busy you'll get...

but it wouldn't come between us...

I Love You~

continuous...

2010-09-26T01:21:00.002+08:00

right where i stopped from the last post...

on friday 24092010 : as usual...i went to club with the mates...to quottro...sun even come along...i hate to say this,but it's not tat happening that night...so boring~!!! annie was drunk but after she vomit,she's sober again...before that,i get compliments from brandon...he said i looked slimmer compare to the last time we met which was 3 weeks plus ago that is...but i didnt believe him...cuz he's good in lying...after clubbing,sun and i went to spicy for a drink =)

saturday : woke up as usual,late! eh cant help it lar...it's still sem break plus i slept super late...sweetheart did msg me telling me the good news...that he's coming bek home early =D we went for dinner at jalan aloh then to times square for a movie...called "the legend of the guardians"..cute owls they are...i drove him bek after that...cuz i know he's suppa tired after a long drive bek from penang...and then,i drove his car bek to my home =D

sunday 26092010 : bak kut teh for breakfast...yum yum...house chores done a bit and then off to sweetheart's place again to give him bek his car...daddy asked to stay for dinner and i did =D well,it wasn't oni the family were there...the relatives and frens of his family were there as well...it was a lil scary tho...but i just do my part...after that,i gotta rush home to take my sist for dinner...bie was with me as well...and we watched "legend of the fist" at 1u after we dropped off my sist...

STILL I WANA COMPLAIN~!!!

WHY NO COLOURS 1???!!!?!?!

SO DULL ARK~!!!!

The last week of it!!

2010-09-24T00:09:00.009+08:00

FIRST~!!! i gotta complained...wat der heck is going on with my blog site?? i cant put colours on my words~!!! Zzzzz!!!!

holidays are coming to an end soon...in fact,it's just too soon =( can i have another week more of holidays? *yeah,in my dreams* lolz...self talking again! HEY! get used to it!

i've been spending most of the nights at pubs with evelyn!! haha...look,on thurs i went to zouk with my mates...fri,to luxy and marristo gold...sat and sun i was at hometown...if i'm at kl,i'll be going out with her to hennessy artistry and Gsix on sunday...she even asked me to go to movida on monday...but i got errands =(

since both of them love jagung so much...i sms-ed evelyn whether she wants it or not...and i took some for drew's family too =) yeap,from the kampung...

sweetheart came back to kl on monday midnight...which he ask me to stay over...but i'm a lil bit of lazy to drive tat far...i know it's just a 45 mins drive...but...i dunno wat came into me tat day...which it never did happen...

so much misery in me on tat particular monday...that i really wished to express it all out...but i do not want to regret on how i express it out...the wrong way which is...i didnt do...all i did was some talking with the frens...it did helped out a lil...but the main one is who i wanted to talk to...

tuesday : a day out with evelyn...she purposely came to look for me...god!! so touching lor...we went to desa parkcity for a drink...stay and chat...we even walk along the lake side...after that,i gotta fetch her to royal oak,cuz i'm having dinner with my family...tat was the moment when they sell RM1 per pint...btw,it was arthur's day promo =) i joined her back at clover...then off to my sweetheart's place..

spend the rest of the night there...after so long,i finally get to spend some time with him...watching him sleep so closely beside me...felt his breath and his warm face...he's off to work very early in the morning...i'm still sleeping like a pig till 11am...haha...play around with ben too =) left home bout 12 plus...felt so reluctant to leave ben alone there...but i got to..

Wed : well,i took his jacket and one of his t-shirt...his shirt smells like him...it's as tho he's by my side...i even took both his jacket and shirt spray a lil of his perfume...i know i'm silly...hug his jacket to bed every night with his smell there...he came by at midnight to take his keys...and i still missed him so so so much!

Thurs : he's going outstation again...so i'm planning to go over to his place to help him pack at least..met daddy at basement...talked to him and he was so shocked when he saw what i'm driving...haha...played with ben again...cleaned up his room abit...

dad was cooking dinner and i asked if he need my help...he even asked me to eat dinner there...but i couldnt,cuz my home already has dinner for me...deep down,i always felt so bad that i always rejected him...sigh...dear was home and ben flew towards him...before i leave,i left a note at his car there...it says...

"remember our promises and miss me okay?

hugs and kisses

from : Mrs Jessie Koh"

and what shocked me was that he told me mummy saw it...i was like wtf!! AGAIN!?!? the note itself didnt have anything wrong...but the words FROM : MRS JESSIE KOH was the problem...god knows how much i wanna hide my face that day...but i get to find out,it was a prank...rawr~!!! well,he's off to penang that night...

owh...before i forget,as i promised that i'll upload the bali photos...i'm lazy to upload them 1 by 1...u know lar this blogger...sooooo...just pay me a visit at facebook =D

here's the link..

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=196810&id=644591817&l=8995944649

and

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=197343&id=644591817&l=d4ee473987

The Sem Break~!!

2010-09-18T14:35:00.008+08:00

it's gonna be a very very very long 1...but the usual me,i'm gonna cut it short =P

on the first week,i was off to bali for a 4D 3N trip...like i said on my previous post...a very relaxing trip...i'll update the photos later...

what have i been doing during these whole sem break? it's another week more and the classes are going to start...what else? have been house choring....but other than that...i had fun ofcuz...went for shopping and movies...then in the night,off to clubs...i've gotta admit after entering zouk,i prefer zouk to phuture...the only thing i dun like is,a lot ppl who are about my age...

just right last night,i went out with evelyn...believe it or not,she's my bf's ex...hahah...when adrian ask evelyn,"who's ur girlfren?" she answered,"my ex's gf"...u shall imagine the look on his face...but it's nothing wrong isnt it,going out with ur bf's ex? i couldnt believe it myself too...but i guess,we're gonna be good frens =)

there's one more thing i would really love to do...is to go on a holiday with any who...but not family...sigh...but i guess,there wont be any chance...cuz on the next sem break,we're having internships =( sigh...

but...i've been sleeping a lot too...hahha...have been stocking up my sleep...cuz as we know,the next sem will be tougher...somehow,i feel the holidays are so short =( or time really do flies?

anyway,next up are the bali photos and the club photos =)

A rest after a great war...

2010-09-03T00:12:00.007+08:00

I'm back...back from the battlefield...the result is yet to be known...some where in Oct...

sweetheart came home from sg on the 28th...ofcuz,i wana see him...so i'm off to look for him...we had been meeting each other for almost every single day in tat particular week...on sat night,we went for supper...after being a month apart,i'm talking non stop like there's no tomorrow...haha

we even watch "the expendables" at 1u and "step up 3" at cineleisure...we just kept spending time together...i even went over to his house cuz his mum just bought a new puppy called ben...he's so fluffy and cuddly...

ops,did i mention it's my sem break already? uh huh! it is...will be going on a trip with the family to Bali on sunday and will be back on Wed...so it's a 4D 3N trip...i shall update u guys when i'm back =)

The Hectic Weeks!

2010-08-18T00:30:00.005+08:00

i was suppose to fetch bie to the bus station on the 2/8/2010...but things never go accordingly to plan...as i tot i was going to fetch him,so i did woke up at 4.30am in the morning...and when i'm done bathing,i received this call from sweetheart...saying that he'll be late...so alright...i was waiting and waiting...but i guess,time wouldnt allow us to meet each other for the one last time before he heads to SG...the last call was that he told me not to wait anymore...so i head to class early in the morning...

but i manage to stand till the end of the day and drive home safely tho i felt so so so tired...cuz i slept late the night before due to the excitement of meeting him...anyway,he'll be back vv soon...

but why when i was in deep disappointment and when all hopes are lost,suddenly,i was allowed to meet him again...but then when i thought i could see him,it's the other way round...
that is why dear,when you say you will go on a holiday with me this sept and sure will make it...the way i answer you is just like "oh...okay"...it's because i dun wana have anymore hope and then go disappointed again...dun feel guilty or anything alright?
♥

GOSHHH~!!!!

here goes the super duper hectic week with all the written assignments pilling up together at the end of sem...it really gets me going~!! SERIOUSLY~!!! first up it's with the tax...both individual and group...then BITA...also both individual and group...LUCKILY,i've done my presentation as i'm the 1st batch and not forgetting FR test as well...

that is why i've left my blog un-updated for the past few weeks...even the last post,i recently only finish typing it...imagine it~!! argh~!!!

it's over anyway...no matter how tough it is...no matter how late or no matter how i didnt get to sleep...i've pass thru it already =)

but after all the written assignments are done,we're left with the BITA test...the 3 of us went over to tortoise's house to do the sample case of it...it took us more than 3 hours to finish the whole thing up...well,i guess it's because that we'd spent too much time on talking,fb-ing and even went out to get macd ice cream at connaught's...

now that everything's over,we're preparing for our finals...nervous of course...oh! before that,we had our tax individual marks back...and guess wat,i was the highest among my group...i never expect tat and i was like "are you sure it's mine?"...surprised but happy as well =)

...back to where i am...went to the college library almost every single day...cuz i couldnt study at home with the tv,computer and the bed there...it's vv tempting and i wouldnt start studying instead...tat is why i chosen to go to the library...

today, the 19th....

well...i guess i'm starting to have my exam-sickness already...cuz i see symptoms like couldnt sleep early and the appetite is gone as well...everytime i ate,there's this feeling of puking it out and i rather not eat but to spend the time on my studies...

in a way,it's good...cuz it's dieting...my target was tat i wan my sweetheart to see some changes in me when he's bek =) *crossing fingers hard*

Eng Speech Day & 6th Month...

2010-07-31T13:16:00.020+08:00

Monday 26072010 : today is muah speech day! yeah...that was my attire for the day...well,tutor did say wear according to our own topics...the uniform was suggested by my tutor...

it had been so many years since i wear the school uniform...i look like a weirdo but it sure does brings back the memories...upon reaching the college,i walk as fast as i could cuz ppl just kept looking at me...and when my mates arrive,they laugh at me -_-" ish~!! but i'm used to it,being an entertainer =)

Mr Johnny also suggested tat i sud tied in two...but hello,no way~!!! they'll laugh even more...speech went on smoothly...he even asked me to wear until classes ends...GOD~!! no i wont!! but i'll take fotos...there're more in fb =)

college bullies~!!!

*punishment* =P

Tuesday 27072010 : a date with lynn...to....the gym...hahah...it was a clubhouse nearby our college...the gym was erm...okay? yeah,it was...but the equipments were old...they had a swimming pool too...but it's just too small! after the gym session,went off to breakfast at BRJ...the well known famous mamak in wangsa maju...

Thursday 29072010 : it is the day i met him once more...yes and i tot the other day was the last i met him till he came bek home from work from SG...i went over to help him pack his luggage...returning his lappie as well...

i felt kinda bad and guilty that my arrival had wake him up from his sleep which he hadnt had one in so many days...the one night tat he could sleep...even just for a few hours...my plan was to pack his luggage and leave right after tat...but who knows,his start work time changed from 3am to 12am...which means,no more sleeps!

me,feeling depressed,emo and angry,was treating him in a cold way...in which by answering some of his questions in a so not well-mannered kind...there's just so much things going on in my mind which i haven cleared it out...talking to his cousin,did help a lil...but still,talking to him is the best solution...i opened up myself to him and yes,it really did help...i'm lighten up

we left home together...i never thought that he would ask me to miss him...bcuz,it's usually i'm the one who said it...deep down inside,i'm happy =)

Friday 30072010 : as i said before,had been very emo for the whole week...spending the whole night talking to denise,his cousin...conclusion was as above =)

Saturday 31072010 : having a FR test today...god damn it...i dun have enough time to do it all...but i did answer everything...was so freaking tired...

ntg much happen this day...just a yam cha session at night...and that's it for my saturday night...the coming week will be very torturing for all of us!

Another note :

Happy 6th Month!

yeap indeed it is...the 6th month of Him & Hers =)

it's like time really do flies,eh? all of the sudden,i felt like "so fast 6th month d?!" lolz...

to him,my happiness is the reason he smile...

but to me,i had my happiness because of his existence...

tho he isnt there by my side most of the time...due to his schedule...

but he is always there to make my day...

no matter it is just a call from him...

no matter it is just a message from him...

no matter it is just an online conversation with him...

no matter it is just a video call from him thru skype...

he is still there to make me smile~ ♥

The Cruelty of the Realities!

2010-07-23T22:36:00.006+08:00

Fantasies had just over and now it's the time to face the cruelty of the realities!

coming up next was all the coursework tests,assignments and presentation...damn!! piling them all up at the end of the sem really gets us frustrated and it's a bit of a rush...

well,we couldnt complain much...we can only do wateva we're told to do so and furthermore it's required by the course =( sigh...this is life...

Tues 20072010 : it was a class-free day...decided to go for gym and then off to look for sweetheart...but i didnt wana wake him up as he do not get to sleep much...so i went over to tortoise's house to do some FR tutorials as i'm presenting the next day...and we even went for breakfast...sorry sweetheart,for keeping you waiting...bought a breakfast for him...

we watch a movie called "Losers"....and still,tho time doesnt allow me to spend a longer day with him,but it's better than nothing...at least i still get to see him,tell him stories,hug him,kiss him and all =) he's off to work and i'm bek home...

college days were as usual...BORING~!!! and wat i hate most was,ASSIGNMENTS! everything piling up at the end of the semester! Damn it! POOR MANAGEMENT!

Sat 24072010 : only up till today,i get to talk to the loved one...he was busy the whole week...he went off work early in the morning...and i went over to hug him to bed...i get to watch him sleep in a close distance...touched his face and hair,to feel his arms around me once more...he had to work in the afternoon at 3pm...so we ate our brunch at the same place again =)

then at night,i went out with my NS fren...him bringing his gf along and asking me to be a spotlight...damn wtf wei! ish! went to pavilion for dinner ^^ FINALLY i get to go to pavilion after a couple of months of not visiting there...they're having sales but i'm not interested!

after the dinner,we took some photos at the main entrance...i'm just sooooo lazy to upload it now...later ba...was happy to see him too after 2 years =) and he said,"i would like to spend my whole life in camp" haha...for me,i love it as much too including when every1's the same,the coaches,the trainees there and so on...

i went off to mont kiara for a yam cha session...ca guo was late! and he tot i'm crazy cuz i make up just for a yam cha session...but he'd mistaken me for i went out before that...ntg much...was so tired after that...and i guess,i fed lotsa mosquitoes too...

Sun 25072010 : was preparing for my english speech for the next day...so tiring...god! when i'm done with everything except for memorizing the script,i straight went to take a nap...cuz i just cant stand it anymore...

sweetheart ring me up when i'm still sleeping...well,good news was,i get to see him again =) went over to his hse...then off to midvalley for movie and dinner...movie was "Streetdance" and as for dinner,we went for carl's junior...

i guess this is the last day i'll meet him till he gets back from work from singapore...it's going to be a very tough month for me,i knew that...because,i've never been separated from him for more than a week! plus,there's lots more i need to do in my studies!

but,i guess Lord has other plans for me...as my ACCA exams are on the same month too...i'll be busy preparing for it...we're both busy at our own stuffs...

i guess it's good too...to have separated a while...at least,a lil spice will be added in it...i'm in hesitation actually...

i so wana see him before he went to singapore for a month...

but at the same time i dun wana see him because i'm afraid that i'll feel reluctant to let him leave...that is why...

anyway,i'm still planning to go over to his hse to help him pack his luggage cuz he's just soooo busy till he even asked jie to help him pack!

hoping that the particular month will pass by faster!

The Happiest Week~

2010-07-18T23:13:00.002+08:00

A very quick summary of last week...

dated 111072010-17072010

A movie night on sunday,11072010 with sweetheart and cy...watching Despicable Me...
I remembered very well that the next day,during lectures break,i drew this :

yes,it is that Minion from the movie of Despicable Me =) cy's expression was like -_-" swt~!! hahah...but i just couldnt help it...i love that movie...

on Wed 14072010,the first time ever,i visited this connaught,cheras night market...the longest ever...sweating like i just showered like tat...sweetheart was holding me all the time,never letting go...cuz there's just so much ppl tat he's afraid i'll go sesat from him...but i'll be going back for sure...

staying over his hse for the night...having him to be my side for the whole night,i felt so warm...with his arms around me,i felt so secured,so comfortable...the happiness i felt,is beyond words to describe...

waking up on Thurs 15072010,we had a breakfast date at a place which both of us love! he dropped me off by tortoise's hse and off he went to work...and as for me and king kong,both waited for the tortoise! MEMANG TORTOISE i tell you! lolz...class was as usual

Fri 16072010,we went to sungei wang's green box for a sing k session with the new mates...it was called the ice breaking session...cuz we just knew each and everyone else...except for those who had been in the same class before...we did do lotsa crazy and silly poses for the cam...i'm waiting eagerly now for the photos to be uploaded...

And when we're going home,me and sweetheart bump into each other on the roads...amongst all the possibilities,CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! it sounded dramatic,but it's true that we really did...and we winded down the window and even wave hello! ♥

Sing k session with new mates~

Something i drew during lectures break!

Sat 17072010,it was my big day...the convocation for my diploma studies...after 2 years of studying...was very happy indeed...we get to meet all our old mates whom we missed sooo much...we took lotsa photos with lotsa jumping and running...i sweat a lot before the ceremony starts...well,part of it was because i'm a very easy-kinda-sweat person...2ndly,cuz we did walk here and there,jumps and runs...

Flowers from sweetheart & daddy

Kicks from DAC 1

Jump for joys ♥

that was bout my Convo...and sweetheart did came...he gave me this bouquet of roses...i dont know why,but seriously,i'm loving it a lot...maybe it was because he's the 1 who gave it to me and the flowers do look pretty!

we went over to 1u to have din din and watch movie...for din din,we went over to Pasta Zanmai...deee-lii-ciouss~!!! yum yum! i'll be going back to try the rest of the dishes...for movie,we watch 2 movie in 1 night...we watched,"Predators" first then oni "Inception"...

i rate both movie 9/10...For inception,u've really gotta be very attentive on it...or else,u'll get lost whether it's a dream or a reality...and it need some time for ppl who're slow to digest and to understand it...this movie was really loooong...it's 2 and half hours! gosh...i was sooooo tired that i went home,removed the make up,and straight to bed!

it had been the happiest week for me =) i've got sooo much things that i had ever wanted...i've got a bf who loves me,sayang me and all...i've got frens to laid on...i've got my happiness...in fact,the most in amongst everything that happened this year...this particular week =)

The Night Market

2010-07-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

14072010 (Wed) : been to class as usual...i'm late,very very late...by the time i left my house,i'm suppose to be at class...but roads are clear and i guess luck had been my side for today...i've found a parking lot in a very short time...even after breakfast,i went to park at the sports complex,i found a parking lot in a short period too

tortoise and king kong came over to my house...waiting for me to pack up,bath and all...the purpose of them coming was to scan faces to my dad so tat he allows me to stay over her house when i ask so...apparently,when i reach home,he isnt there...so that's that...

thought of bumping sweetheart on the roads...but he asked me to change course due to the congested areas...but still,i'm stuck at the same "cat road" for more than an hour...for bout 2 hours only we reached her place...that was 8.30pm..

we had din din...didnt eat much...after eating,we get ourselves prepared...i was thinking whether to tie my hair or not...then i decided a NO for it...gave bie a call and he came over to fetch us...i was happy to see him...the reason he's coming along was only one and that's me =)

there's no place for us to park but still,we found 1...he hold my hands very gently and he even took my 2 in 1 phone wallet to put it in his pocket...i snatched back cuz i didnt want him to feel "kekok" with it...but still,he's my man =)

he never let go of me the whole time till after we've done walking the night market...ca guo did join us too...he bought soooo much foods...as for me,i had a drink shared with tortoise...everyone were busy getting sth...but not me...i'm just looking around...they even sell 16GB pendrive there...

i wonder if it works and how much it costs...cuz i need another 16GB of pendrive tho i had the same one...which reminds me to buy an external hard disks for my sweetheart...it'll be more storage and more convenient for him to work since he's always moving around...

we've been walking for almost 2 hours and that's only half of the whole night market...i'm sweating so much that i gotta tie the whole hair up...bie said,"Samurai"...lolz...i love walking with them tho it's a bit squeezy there... i'll be going back there if i had the chance...thanks sweetheart for the time =) thanks tortoise and king kong for accompanying me =)

dropped bie off at his home and i drive off his car to tortoise's house to finish that MYOB exercises...it doesnt took much time...but maybe turning on the pc,waiting for the software to load and so on,that took the time...i rush back as soon as i can when i'm done...giving him a msg that i'll be home...

him telling me that the corridor is dark,i totally freaked out...i asked him to wait for me outside cuz i'm afraid of the dark...he waited for me at the car park and we walked up together...it's scary tho! reached home and prepare for bed...such a tiring night...few mins before bed,i was looking at his photos in his phone...all sorts of photos,his ex(s),his works,the randoms and etc..went to bed right after that...

Thursday : woke up at 8.35am today...bath and pack up my stuffs as i'm going back home today...when we're done,sweetheart and i went to have a breakfast...the place where he likes as how much as i do too...

he fetched me to tortoise's house cuz i parked my car there and he gotta go to work,as for me,to class with my mates...a very usual day at class...except for that air conditioner,it's as tho,it is colder today...

sweetheart came over to pick me up for a drink session after he went off work...catching up the old time as he's busy before this...VERY busy! but i'm happy as well...cuz i get to spend time with him =D

16072010 (Friday) : had breakfast with mousey and king kong at steven's corner...then we went for lectures...after that,we had plans with the classmates =) it's good too...at least we can bring our frenship closer with the new mates...we went to GreenBox for a sing k session...

frens who attended were hl,cy,wy,ck,le jun,su jun, jojo,su cheng,sook yeng,charis, jl,chee pin and chai yong...in total,it's 14 ppl including me...so we got the big room...we took photos before we left...there's so much silly pose of jl that made me laugh...gosh! the trademark laugh came out this time and the new mates heard them...

kl was super jam...so we decided to use the MRR2 route to go back to college...guess what...this is the part that made my day MOST! i bump into sweetheart when we're driving...he's at the opposite road and we even wind down the window and wave =) that was bout 6.06pm

Amongst all the possibilities...

Amongst all the road,we both used the same highway...

Amongst the time,he was off work early...

Or else,we couldnt bump into each other...

to him,it wasnt call fate...because,to him,fate was made my one's himself,not by Lord himself...

but to me,it doesnt apply in this situation...i just felt so much coincidence...

I'm happy ofcourse if you asked me...

hl and wy was being tortured by my "syiok sendiri" and "rhetorical questions"...pity them...

lolz...but i just cant help being that way...cuz i'm just too happy that i smile inside out...

tomorrow's my convocation...it's nothing special to me...cuz it's only diploma...unless if it is adv diploma,degree or master...it's going to be a photography day =) i'll be doing a mask later on...i wana be on my best tomolo

will be continue-ing tomorrow...

BebeJezz is signing off right now~

Reveals...

2010-07-10T02:08:00.017+08:00

It is time to blog again after a hectic schedule...well,half of it was over already...my piano examinations,yes,they're over...i am in fact very disappointed in myself...i made lotsa mistakes =( i really hope i could pass the exam orelse i needed to resit it again and all efforts will be wasted...

FRIDAY : we had a proposal letter test today...actually i've done it very last minute...as you see,i've spend most of my time sitting on that chair and practiced my piano pieces...so searching for info,i've done it the day before...and the drafts,it was an hour before the real test...well,i have confident in this 1 but results are yet to be out soon...

at night,me and chai yen went over to cheras for a drink session with tortoise...it was drizzling by tat time...pick her up at leisure mall and we went to a hawker centre called "small genting" which is nearby the petrol station in cheras,not the 1 at ampang...

we were talking a lot...planning the plans for the next day and the wed "hong lok" pasar malam...sweetheart gave me a call,which i am totally surprised...cuz i tot he'll be working till late and i never thought i had the chance to meet him =)

i fetched tortoise back home...her hse was full of frogs and we even saw 1 before entering her hse compound...while walking in,she frightened me,"there's a frog~!!!" i almost yell,heart was jumping fast and i hold on to her...then oni i found out that she was fooling around...bishhh~!!!

dropping cy at tortoise's house,i went to bie house...finally,i get to meet him! the first thing i did was to manja him all over and he smiled...his whole family was still awake..yana was there too...the cute 1...

we watched anime...surprisingly,sweetheart did "tepet" me...i was happy of course...he hug me and i felt soooo warm after a week of apart-ness....i'm going off early as well cuz he gotta work very early the next day and i didnt wan cy to wait for me for so long...off i went after the anime...

SATURDAY : it's a shopping day for all 3 of us,as planned...actually,the main reason was that king kong wanted a new watch,so we accompany her...woke up early in the morning,prepared and off i went to fetch both of them...and yes,i went all the way to cheras and come back here to 1u...

well,i dun mind actually...we're frens after all and once in a while...i bet she'll do the same the next time too =) roads were a lil congested...i'm driving manual you know~!! goshhh!! imagine after walking for whole day with heels...

we reached 1u and the first thing we did was :

yeah! that was it and we start searching for her watch that she wants...but we too,do a lil shopping at apparels shop...as for me,you know,the usual 1,i went to shoes shop...i just couldnt resist...

we even went to a lingerie shop called "La Senza"...GURLS,there's SALES~!!! i wana get undies and some pyjamas there...but later,not today...

there's this shop called "Blay"...i went in and start looking for something which attracts me...there is this heels,i almost wana buy it all 3 pairs with different colours...but too bad,the black was out of stock...so off we went =(

there's 1 watch caught cy's eyes...but she didnt get it cuz i guess it's a lil rush...then off we went to city chain to get her old watch repair and we even went to Vincci...okay! this 1 definitely caught me...i want that heels badly~!!! i'm waiting for the price to drop,cuz it's a lil not worth...

we went over to ikano tesco there...to get my sweetheart a phone cover...i got this very special 1 with horns...unique i felt...and i guess bie will definitely love it cuz it's special...looking at the length,it totally fit his phone...as for the side buttons,i forgotten how it looks like so i just buy it...

fetch tortoise home right after that...king kong and i was planning to go over to pavilion for dinner and as well walk around cuz the last i've been there was the day before my birthday...i couldnt go there as often as i used to...firstly,i'm having a hectic schedule...secondly,bf dun love it there (midnite)...so i guess,percentage of going there with him would be very low...

but we changed our minds...we went to gei tak sek...cuz king kong wanted a "fa sang wu"...a dessert made from nuts...she couldnt have it when we're there...we're too late,it's sold off...after dinner,i fetch her back to her hse to get her stuffs...cuz she's staying over...

SUNDAY : woke up super duper early..she was craving for breakfast...so she woke me up...we went over to mutiara damansara to have that famous shredded chicken noodles..

after breakfast,she watched movie at my hse..."Being Human"...i felt a lil sleepy after that,so i took a nap until sweetheart reaches...went out to have lunch with him...when i'm home,i'm finishing everything i know how to do and my answers to be presented the next day...

as discussed earlier on,we wanted to watch movie..."predators" will be screening today...we went after dinner with bie...but there's no more good seats =( so we watch "Despicable Me"...ppl,it's a good movie...go watch it!

bie fetched us home after the movie...as usual,when he's driving,i always look at him like i couldnt anymore...well,in other words,it's called appreciating every seconds i have with him..

it's FIFA final tonight at 2.30am...and i'm supporting Spain...nope,i dun trust Mr Paul...but seriously,i've got an instinct that it'll be Spain =) furthermore,they played well...and when we read the newspaper the next day,Spain WON~!! hip hip hurray!!

sth Him & Her shared everytime they watched movies

MONDAY : it's monday again...i dunno why,but i just feel good...i had fun in english class but there's a time i went sleepy...Mr Johnny was like a comedian...he kept making me laugh,doing all sorts of acts...lolz...

went out to get our breakfast with mates...this time we went to try sth new...well,it's not bad there actually...the environment was good too...price are so so...in short,we'll be going back there again =)

lectures didnt go well for me today...i dunno is it just me or Mr Michael wasnt teaching good...cuz i'm sleepy as well...wondering for a few seconds,then cy looked at me and say "He teached till very confusing today,eh?" and i nodded...

we went for a swim in the college clubhouse...luckily it didnt rain...but there's activities going on there...so you see,the pool is full of boys and gurls =( i just hate it...call me selfish,but i prefer to swim with only my mates around...even when i go for jogs,i prefer doing it alone...i just dun like the way ppl look at me...that's why i prefer to exercise without any other ppl around...

went to cy's house to bath and wait for her to pack...she's staying over again...at night,I met my mum...telling her that i wished to add dancing back to my life...she suggested a few for me...yoga,pilates,cardio dance and even belly dance...i had 1 in mind too,which is ballet...but i'm afraid that i've forgotten the terms for everything such as the moves and dances...

TUESDAY : went to college to collect our graduation gowns for this coming sat's convo...i hope bie,mum and daddy would come...but mummy's working,daddy might be fetching sist too =( and as for bie,he might and might not come...so i'm alone =( but i guess it's alright...after all,it's just a diploma convo...not a big thing also...hope if daddy come,he'll get me flowers...haha...tat means,the first man who gave me flowers was daddy? or maybe a lappie as a gift?? can can? pls...

when i came back home,i put tat gown on...my younger sists say it looks like harry potter and i was like -_-" hahha~!! i loveeeee the gown lerrr...and lucky us can find a XS size gown...muahahha...

dancing was my passion...it is still,right now...that is why i'm adding it back to my life...but for another reason as well,i hope to make myself much more busy,socialise and all...

his schedule,which i really wana know even though it's a subject to change everytime...but after listening to what he say the other day,"....i rather you not to know my schedule than seeing you disappointed and have a thought that i dont have time for you....." it even makes me more curious...

i dont know why,no matter how busy i am,there's a portion of my brain would be thinking bout him and my heart would be saying that i miss him...i guess i really took him much more important than i thought...

let's hope i wouldnt be falling this time...cuz i know,this time,if i do,i wouldnt be waking up and standing how i used to anymore...

i cant wait for tomorrow's night market...it's my first time there you know...lolz...i know it sounds unbelivable...but it's true...no rain pls...let's hope everything will be going on smoothly

The Fifth...

2010-07-03T01:15:00.003+08:00

It's already the fifth month?
Yes,it is...
and as usual,he is always the forgetful one...but i understand his workload was one of the reasons that he didnt remember,and the other reason was because there isnt an end for us...that's what he said and which is what i gotta noe too by today...
we had a deal that the next time i wouldnt say it out nor wish him...so i guess,this time would be the last until the 1st year anni comes...

something i've learnt today from him...
"to never think of something that haven even happen and that is to prevent unnecessary sadness"
at first,i was fighting back all his points by mentioning the future,but then...
i had a second thought...i felt that he got his points too...at least,i wouldnt be sad if anything happen and ruin the future plan...i was,in the past i meant...so depressed,upset,all over that relationship which i tot it would last till the marriage...but things really do happen...and everything change...

a past is a past...at least i'm happy now with him...
things are changing from time to time...

the examination i'm having,it's coming very soon...just a couple days more..i'm nervous ofcourse...till i couldnt even get good sleeps...dress code was a 1 piece dress...i've selected a few,but it is yet to be decided...i'll be going to class after that...and i'm very much afraid that my frens will joke around cuz of the dress...i mean,who wore dress to college...it's not just ordinary dress...it's those kind which u see ladies piano performers wore...

Just wish me luck =)

believe it or not,it's already half sem gone...but i dont feel a single thing...i mean,i felt like the new sem just started only...
anyway,after that exam,i'm going to partay~!!!
or maybe a day out with georgey and with whoever wana join...
sweetheart will be busy till september i guess or maybe till begining of next year?
i've gotta make plans for myself to pass my time...
it's still a subject to change,but clubbing is on the top list amongst all =P

I could really use a wish right now~

Happy 5th Month,Dear!

looking back to the past,

looking back to how much we've been thru..

it wasn't easy but i know that i hold on because..

i love you...

Another Memorable Moment...

2010-06-27T19:10:00.009+08:00

26062010 :
had decided to spend the whole day with my sweetheart after being so tired from practicing my piano day after day,hours after hours sitting on that chair...

days before this,he told me he was working...and i was happy to receive a msg from him the night before,telling me that he's not working...

guess he must be very tired...he slept for so long...bought him brunch and i thought of suprising him by bringing his favourite drink...ended up,he had it at home as well =(

spending time together during the weekends...watching movies at home,taking a nap together..
all these are sth which old man do with his old lady normally...but to me,these small things,make me felt so warm...

we've decided to watch movie at night...at midvalley..."Knight and Day"..
after that,we thought of going home...but bie had sumwhere to go in his mind...
and as usual,he never wana give any hint of where we're heading..he said,"it's a suprise"..
but being his gf,analysing his body language was one of my expertise...
and my guess was precised =P

i'm happy...for i wanted to go to this place and for so long that he wanted to bring me go as well,we went finally tonight...tho the time there was short,but it is memorable enough to me..

well,i sud shut my lips like Ms Shutup and let the pics do the talking =)

My Man

Beautiful,isnt it? yeah,took very lil photos...but i'll be back again =) bringing my frens and family...for fotos ofcuz~!!

owh! he even told me that the Thailand show's cancel...i was shocked to hear that...and bie did say he wana go holiday with me this time...he even added that hoping this time could work it out...but i wouldnt blame him if he couldnt...cuz i understand and i'm getting used to his working lifestyle already =)

sweetheart,

for how much you wanted me to be happy,i am now telling you that i am happy whenever you stay beside me C= but ofcourse,your surprise did work as well...

and baby boi,i'm not disappointed bout the holidays...i admit that i were,once or even twice...but not now anymore,because you told me "We Have Forever"

if we couldnt make it this time,there's always chances...

thanks again for this lovely night...it's gonna be one of those memorable moments in our album...

it had been a very warm day for me =) and dear,

I Love You~

random much?

2010-06-26T00:12:00.003+08:00

gosh...time is just tick tocking...in just a couple of weeks,i'm gonna take my piano practical exam...gahhh~!!! i shall say,i'm nervous as the days come nearer...

reading is just one of the stuffs that i love to do...i tend to read alot...esp when it comes to ppl's blog...reading ppl's stories,their experiences and all just interest me...i can spend hours sitting down in front of my pc just to read them...

well,from my fren's blog,i knew very well that they agreed too on how hard the climb is going to be on our studies...even for the seniors,they were the same too...Associated Certified Chartered Accountant (ACCA) was a rocky path to climb on...looking at our seniors,failing on professional papers,it makes me felt so "chicken out" perhaps?

most of the students at our batch do agree too on how much our lectures dont teach us well...in fact,we've gotta depend on each other to go thru this...team work is wat they called...sigh...but the tutorials classes was just vice versa...

the remaining groups in our class had their role play today...i must say,it was the best ever...hilarious and all...we did enjoy and they did lighten up our Mr Johnny today for that he's down...

there's ntg much going on lately...and i havent been taking photos too T.T sad,isnt it? for someone like me who loves taking photos,it is...the last photo i took with my phone was on MAY~!! gah~!! c'mon~!! i'm waiting for my piano exam to be over and i'll be out to take photos~!!

i've been sick...as usual...don't know why,but this is weird...believe it or not,every year when the timing is near to my piano practical exam,i'll be this sick...sick as in voice~!! mayb God was just trying to help me in aural tests? *cross finger* yes,i am...dreadfully sick...with the fire burning throat,the never-ending coughs and the flus...goshh~!!!

for how much i've been busy on my studies and all,i have to balance out my life...i am one of the kind who needs balancing...if i dont,i couldnt do well on either both...for my love life,things have been pretty much wrecked up...but things do have solutions too...

spending time with him is what i really enjoyed doing,after a stressful day in my studies...
seeing him,it really does make all the stress gone just like *poof*
we watched "When in Rome" ytd at his house...and still the same,the movie was always 3rd quarter watched and the remaining will be left on the other day for me to come to continue...

it's been really bizarre...
things changes...
but i guess,it's good eh?

another 5 more days and it'll be our 5th month anni...

owh!!! btw,lynn told me that her sist had arrive in UK...added that the hostel wasnt look like how Malaysia's ones are...it's a big house...which fits 6 students in it...fully furnished...i just cant wait to go there~!! but ofcourse,there're some things,some one who i couldnt left behind too =( who i feel so hesitated to leave them...ANYWAY,it's just a 3 months summer course...so i guess,i'll be back with a blink of an eye...just like how i was in NS =)

lolz...that will be in 2 years time from now...still have a long way to go...
and i'm already thinking it like it is tomolo...
well,it's late...
i'm signing off~

The Wet Monday...

2010-06-21T18:29:00.004+08:00

hadnt been sleeping for the night...preparing for the role play and trying to do the minutes...but i gave up in it,cuz i just cant figure things out...it's strange...cuz i'm really sleepy and yet i just couldnt fall asleep and be like a baby...let's hope tonight i can sleep soundly like a baby...

the road was quite clear cuz i left my house early...but who knows,right outside my college,the traffice light there is so congested~!!! so i'm late for the discussion =( sigh...well,yuen did a great job on her appearance...darling tortoise,BRAVO~!! =) i love the whart that you create...it makes my trademark laugh goes on non stop...

the actual role play didnt come out as good as our practice...but there are some parts which caught the attention of the audience...the funny appearance of yuen,the eagerness of hl,the clumsiness of cy,the cup which had water in it spilling onto ck's...

Mr Johnny did comment on all of us...and we may be better...but it's because we're lack of practice,that is why...and sir did say tat,he prefer my voice during normal tutorials..which he said,the wildness of it and the character dun really matched my very own personalities =( this i know very well for i'm not a confident person at all,wat more asking me being one which is OVER-confident? we'll be better in our next individual presentation anyway =D

the weather had been gloomy for the whole day...we went to cannes' tea house for breakfast and stayed to chit chat for some time there...it drizzled a lil at first and it stopped...but when our class ends at 4pm,it's raining...

the road i'm using,heading back home,it's so heavily in rain tat i could hardly even drive...maybe i'm tired ba? it's a lil congested..but it's oni a small part of it...i guess ppl drives slow that's why and they stopped to look and kepoh at the opposite road's accidents...
there's this myvi,totally overturn and stayed upside down...hmmm...wonder how's the driver is...hope they'll be alright...

i'm home now...safe and sound,as how i promised my loved ones...
i'm going to rest more for tonight and i'll be busy up ahead...
i knew it...because,i can alreaady foresee my schedule...

i needed new pics btw~!!! no pics for me to upload to anywhere =( not a pic of mine,of him & her,of my frens =( not even a single photo...ish~!!! guess i gotta start loading my lomo cam and get ready~!!
owh~!! and i heard convo's around 17th july...it's a saturday...ofcuz i do hope the special one could come,but i guess the one couldnt...this time,it's going to be overloaded with all of our mates' fotos~!!! ngek ngek ngek...

aite'...it's time for me to rest...headaches having their effect on me right now...will be back for more~!!!

A moment...

2010-06-20T14:17:00.003+08:00

i didnt have enough sleep for 2 nights...i know myself well and now i know,the limit i can reach is only up to 2 nights...
the loved one knows very well for the reason i couldnt sleep on the first night...
and for the 2nd night,every 1 who knew me,they knew it why...

bie came and pick me and yuen up from my hse...he's still so cold...never speak a word in the car,never even take one glance at me,never hold my hands like he usually did...all i can hear is the cd tracks playing it's own songs and my nose sniffing cuz of the flu....yuen was sleeping,i was left alone...
i was afraid and wonder should i talk or not...
but in the end,i still kept quiet all the way till reaches his place...
reached the carpark,he's still the same...is this what they called,the cold war?
he never hold my hands like he usually did...
he never hug me when we're waiting for the lifts,like he usually did...
it was never the same =(

i didnt know wat to do...
all i did was,kept quiet...questioning myself silently...
and when we reached his home,i just do my things and try to get some sleep...
it's strange right? after 2 sleepless nights,i still cant sleep...
i tried so hard,closing my eyes and keeping my mind blank...
he was busy with his stuffs...
with his lappie as well...
i felt so cold suddenly...mayb it was the aircond...
when i almost fall asleep,he came to hug me from behind ^^
the feeling i feel once more,it was there...

we went for movie at night at Times Square..."Toy Story 3" =) then our dinner,which was supper for everyone else,at D'Fortune...FINALLY i'm tired...but i still came online then only off to bed...

SUNDAY : HAPPY DADDY'S DAY to all daddies all over the world...
waking up in the afternoon...so many calls~!!! ARGH~!!! then breakfast with the family and now here i am...daddy went out =(

so it's only left me alone here to do the preparation for tomolo's role play...shall i sleep tonight? it's because i gotta reach college at 7.30am...might as well dun sleep right? i know i'm crazy...but this is me...

a conversation with my dearest yuan just now...updating her and she might be coming back this week too...telling her the same thing that i told bie...
saying that i wana keep myself busy...too busy to even have no time to think of him...
bie said that i'm being silly...cuz i've been busy enough with my studies and i still can slip in some time for him...
as for yuan,she ask me to work...
i wana work,after my piano exam...i'll find a job...to keep me busy...and with my studies,i'll be even more busy...work like a kuli =P lolz...it is still a subject to change...will be seeing how's the schedule going to be like next month before i make any decisions...

it's not a sudden thought of it...
i knew it from the very begining that i'm a kind which is into bf a lot...
i need things to distract me a lil from him...
because i know,no matter how busy i am,i'll still think of him...

him,telling me his schedule for the coming months...
looking at them,i know we'll be apart for some time...
yes i know,it's a subject to change...
yes i know,he'll make time for me...
but i also know that i'll think of him most of the time
so,working is only one of the solution...

on another note : i'm getting bored...getting tired of my life...my life cycle...dex tot that i'll suicide or sth lidat...i wont be doing such stupid things ba...silly dexter...
all i need is a change,some excitement,some funs,vacation to relax...

owh! bie wouldnt be coming,i guess...cuz of his hectic schedules of his work...
i need activities~!!
BUT...
two things that made me happy were...
i get to slip in a lil bit time for sweetheart and so does he could...i know he's busy,but still,he manage to made a lil time for me C:
the other one was...
looking at my bebe,playing with him and all...especially when he wakes up in the morning,stretching his body...so cute~!!!

i guess,i'm going to take a rest now...just for a while..
then i'll start to be busy till the role play ends tomorrow...

The Black Friday...

2010-06-18T18:58:00.005+08:00

i decided to blog first before starting to do some revision of mine...

as stated on the title,i called today "The Black Friday"...nope,it isnt 13th Friday...
for the reason i said so,it's because today i almost had an accident...but luckily i was alright...but for yuen,she isnt that lucky...

this morning,i was late for class...and i was in a rush...
it happened around my housing area...
for i wanted to cross the opposite road,i didnt realize that there's a cement truck coming by...after that driver honk,only i found out that i'm in the middle of the road already and i immediately cross right after i'm conscious...if not,the truck would ran over my car and the first tat it hits,is going to be me...for it is coming from my side of direction...

as for yuen,it happened at the VERY SAME TIME...AND THE VERY SAME KIND OF TRUCK~!!!
HOW COULD IT BE SO COINCIDENCE~!!!!
but ofcuz,at diff places...
she was too sleepy,that is why she had this accident...she hit the cement truck till the cement slide went crooked~!!!
her car's windshield went cracked but luckily it didnt shattered...
she's fine now becuz she didnt hit directly..
she had some injuries around her nose and her forehead...

lynn didnt have the mood to continue our discussion anymore...
and she kept asking me to take enough sleep,dun stay up late...
because she's afraid that i'll end up like yuen too...
i just smiled...because i knew i couldnt sleep especially when it come to exam...
i have this guilt if i sleep...so i rather stay up whole night to study until the next day when my exam is over...

seeing yuen's face,looking at her injuries,i felt so pain =(
but luckily she's still here with us =)
and her bf is there to help her as well...
for the coming days,her bf would need to fetch her to and fro from her home to college...

May God bless all my loved ones...
i dun wana see them hurt in any ways...

the accidents i have all these while,did almost take my life away...
it's wat they call cheating death...
everytime,for i have accidents it's because i didnt concentrate on the road...
this time too...

and darling tortoise,u better rest more alright?
listen to your mum,dun go dancing class anymore
OR
if you really enjoy dancing,just quit tat job
ok?

i'm going to have my tax test tomolo...
like i said,it's going tot be another sleepless night of mine...
dont worry guys =)
i had been doing this for the past 1 year...
i can handle the steering alright? C:
love y'all...

on another note :
i'm missing someone special as well...
i wonder how he's doing...
wondered whether has he eaten or not...
wondered if is everything alright there for him or not...
i wonder...

i wanted to call..
wanted to text...
but
i just dun dare
till
he calls me...

in less than 2 week,it's going to be our 5th Month anni...
i hope the same for him as how i hope for my frens...
i pray to Lord
i ask Him to take care of him for me...
i ask Him to make his work path smoother...
i ask Him to make sure he's in safety...
i pray to Lord
for this cold night,to be warm for him...

my sweetheart,i really miss you much...

Life Contract Signed...

2010-06-17T16:27:00.002+08:00

it's gonna be heavy for us...the hectic schedules of ours...the busy-ness and the pressure are pressing on us...yes,for this sem,it had already started...we'll be very very busy preparing for coursework,test and then finals...just this sat,we're gonna have tax test...and tomolo we'll be having role play practices...the real one will be on monday and there's lots more...

Show encrypted text

Forever After...

2010-06-13T21:39:00.006+08:00

back to Thursday...where my car's battery worn out...and i thought,i would needed lynn's help in the college by borrowing her car to jump start,instead,i'm fine over there...it is when i went to the bank and i needed jump start...no one was there to help me at first =( but luckily,there's this kind lady,she willing to help me out..

the lady didnt know how to jump start...i told her i knew the way...so she let me do the magic...you know,i get "wow" from ppl a lot...they always say,"Wow~!!! you,a gurl,driving a manual?" and i always asked wat's wrong with it...it seems tat guys always tot gurls couldnt drive manual...and some who read my blog,who knew i chged tyres and after this incident,they would always gave me a surprised-shocked expression,"i didnt know u can chge tyres and jump start a car"...it all came from experience from the past...

it seems to ppl that gurls are always a weaker one...normal cars are easy for me to fix...but the car tat i'm driving recently,Toyota Wish,it's a bit hard for me if i need to change the tyres because the rims are custom made,which i am not familiar with yet...and as for the bmw,the batteries are not under the hood,said by jl...

from those impression i gave to most ppl bout how independent i can be,i am not,to be truth...i always am the one who can be very independent but also at the same time,wana be like those other inncent gurls out there...i rely on my loved ones...at times,i wished to lie down on his shoulders or he hug me with his arms around me...

on friday,i went over to bie's place...he wanted to come over at first,but dun wana go thru all those jams...so i said,i go over then...and we had sushi for din din ^^ wanted to walk along at pasar malam but didnt do so...instead,we went home and yana was there...she's as cute as ever...and bie did say i'm chubby as she is too =(

had movies at night with my family...we watched "Shrek;The Final Chapter"...bie didnt like this movie at all,so i just watch with my sist ba...well,i highly recommend it to ppl who had watch the previous chapters of this movie...it's so romantic...i even cried because i'm touched by the romance of it...

as you all know,Shrek and Fiona are married with 3 cute lil babies...at this Final Chap,it talks about how Shrek wanted back his old life before he met Fiona cuz he is just fed up of having everyday routine which is the same...just like how men today who are married wanted back their olde life,freedom,funs and enjoyments...in fairytale like this,it has been a trend tat the male always saved the female's life...but in this movie,it is Fiona who saved Shrek from dying...Shrek ofcourse did regret of not appreciating having his family and was as happy as ever when he found out that the "True Loves Kiss" did work...well,u all shall watch it for yourself and prepare some tissue papers..

they had their forever after...lolz...to some ppl,i may sound foolish or silly...but to ppl who know me well,they knew tat i just love romance so much..though small things may pleased me easily...i'm a gal who had been chasing after a romance life...you may ask,"have you got it?" well,i guess i'm almost there...not to say i have it totally and not to say i dun have it either...

on sunday,i had my piano lesson...this time,my teacher call another student of hers to come along and play the pieces as well..."she's good,not talented,but hardworking",that's what my teacher said...and when she played today,her standard drop because i'm there and she's nervous...my teacher did say that,she shant be like that because of an existence of another person...well,i understand,because the examiner will be there on the day...it's far more scarier...and it's my turn to play as well...for me,teacher said tat my dynamics are strong and clear...it's just my notes tat i need to becareful on...it's a good thing i guess...having another student there to compare and we get to listen the pros and cons and therefore learn from it...

went back to hometown after tat...and came home after dinner...it's quite jam on the way back...so we reached home quite late too...went to night market and gei tak sek with my sweetheart...gonna do my tutorials now...orelse,i gotta finish it during my break tomolo...and i'm already sleepy =(

my sweetheart had been as usual,as sweet as ever...one day,we were passing by a place with a condo...and i said,"that place not bad"...and he answered me,"okay,i'll buy it and put it under our name"
i smiled sweetly...tho,it was sth he just said...but the thought of it is just nice ♥

the blue days...

2010-06-09T00:17:00.008+08:00

another blue monday it was...went to college as usual,early in the morning...our tax lecture had been canceled due to our lecturer is on leave...so,we'll have 4 hours of break! imagine tat,torturing enough to have such long break...suppose to discuss our role play script,done a lil ammendments here and there...we couldnt decide much of the idea,cuz ck wasnt there...so that's tat...

went over to bie's place...it was late night already...but i just missed him so much that i just wana see him right now...playing around with the door when i reached...ish! mummy even opened the door and see wat's going on...hope she's not angry bout it...

bie hasnt even bath yet! i was playing with his laptop...after a moment,i found that,it's a good opportunity to talk to his mum...so i did,i went out to the living room and sat beside her...so near to her that deep down in me,i was actually shivering...

mummy started the conversation first...asking tat,whether i just went off work is it?
i went all blur...and i found out tat it was actually bie who made the mistake,telling her the wrong thing...haha...she asked him bout me,and he tot tat mummy ask bout he himself...silly dear...
i explained everything...then she gave that "zzz" look...
then i asked is she a chartered accountant...then we chit chat a lil...
she asked bout me,where i study and wat course...
asking when is my ACCA exam gonna end and stuffs like tat...

was happy to have this chat with her...tho it's short...tho i'm afraid...but at least,i've tried...i wana get close to his family,to be with them...to be one of them too...i'm still afraid of his mummy...but i guess,in time,i will be better =D

a very boring tuesday as well...it was a day off for me...went for a therapy this morning and after that,i'm off to sunway to meet fer fer...passed by my school again...i missed the days there =( sigh...we sat down and chat...still the same as she is,always making me laugh with all those face expressions she made...and as for me,she said,"your laughter was still the same,never change at all" ofcuz lar,it's my trademark laugh mar...hehe

without realizing it,she's been my fren since primary year 3...which means,we had been frens for 11 years...time do flies eh?

went to Big Tree...sweetheart was there...Sun was too...taking my tutorials along with me,going thru it...and i dun have the idea of doing the last question...i guess it was the same like last week,only after the class,we'll only understand it...and i came home asking ck bout question 1,then only i realized that it was sth tat i didnt copy during last lecture...i wana complain again~!!! everytime we've got no places to sit,we've gotta sit on individual chairs WITHOUT tables! damn it! i paid the development fees too ok?! ish~!!! geram betul~!!!

in less than a month,my piano's exam will be commencing...and in just less than 4 months,our ACCA exams starts...i'm sooooo scare =( so lil time yet so much to do...

it's a new year,new sem...totally new...as in from dipoma to adv diploma...i've changed from being a sleeper during the lecture,till now concentrating on one..no matter how much the lecturer is not proceeding to the next level...from not doing tutorials and not looking at one,to doing one and if i dont,at least i've gone thru knowing what is what...

i'm proud of myself...but ofcuz,there're more that i need to do...just for at this time,at least i'm changing =) i wana be like how i used to be during my school days...the popular kid in class,with the trademark laugh,having funs and still achieving high scores in my studies...

bout the gift,i'm still working on it...just tat recently i dun have the time to continue doing it...i'll be doing it when i have more free time =)

2010-06-06T23:54:00.003+08:00

it had been a long week for me...so much to do yet so lil time...hadnt been seeing my sweetheart for almost a week...when i tot i could see him,he needs to work...but we managed to meet each other on saturday...

05062010 : went to saloon...to have a rebonding and a hair cut...my hair has spilt ends...sigh...and the barber cut so much of that i'm regretting over it now...i guess i would stop dying my hair for some time...

bie went off work early and i asked him to sleep first...and when i go online using my phone,i saw him onlining...and from then,i knew he hadnt sleep...i went over to his place and reach bout 7sth plus...had been telling him stories from those i read from the magz...and only now,i realized that men can breastfeed too =)

we went to midvalley for movie...wanted to watch marmaduke BUT we couldnt make it...end up,we watched "The Bounty Hunter"...it was a romantic comedy...haha...quoted from sweetheart...

his dinner was carl's junior...after having the din din,we walk around,sat down and we talked to each other...i love that feeling...bie,can we have more time like this,pls? =)

06062010 : he went for his tattoo today...asking me whether i would like to go over or not...the "Repo.." neck tattoo...i can see his proud of it =) earlier today,he kept asking for my opinion...and oso bout a ripper tattoo...as i always like to say,i'm happy when he is happy =) so it's alright for me...

i'm sick alright...having flu...and not only that...
i've been complaining so much bout how fat i am =( sigh...the feelings sumtimes made me wana take a knife and stab it right thru my heart...i just cant stand it anymore...

all these while,i knew that drew had been loving me for me...it has 2 diff meanings which are :

he loved me on my behalf...
he loved me for i'm being myself...

but for wat i meant here was,he loved me on my behalf...becuz i've been realizing that i dun love myself by doing so much things to torture myself...i guess i sud start loving myself too...or consult a physcologists...

stupid fats~!! go away!!! i hate you all~!!

the 4th month...

2010-06-01T01:32:00.013+08:00

a picture of baby peeking from the slide glass door's curtain =) cute right?

Friday : at night,i received a call from sweetheart...

he said,"i received an order from mother" and ofcuz,i asked,"what order?"

he answered,"my mother ask me to ask you to join us for a genting trip with the family"

i sooo wana go as well..but i couldnt =( sigh...

Saturday : bie and i was planning to go for a movie at night...i went over to his place early in the morning...tot that i could spend a lil more time with him before night...

he was sleeping when i reached...still lazed around...i'm sooo hungry lar! then i rushed him,telling him that i wana go breakfast wit him...but i dun wana eat that nasi lemak lar...so fattening...

so we decided to go out for breakfast...we met mummy,daddy,yana,the twins and audrey jie at the car park...then mummy asked me to join them again...i told her i couldnt...no matter how much i wanted to go =( and i felt so bad for rejecting her for so many times for so many things...

after the breakfast,we went back home and watch "Solomon Kane"...so crucial...we hug each other on bed while watching and he said,"how good if we were to stay like this every single day"...i couldnt agree more...i wanted the same too...

bie went up to genting with audrey jie...so our movie night out was canceled =( sad...but i still had my time spent with him from morning till evening...

i went home bout 4pm and took my sist out to choose her birthday cake...and during my dinner,dar dar asked me whether if i wana go genting or not...ofcuz i want =)

so we went after my dinner...so it was again that i told sweetheart that we were "so near yet so far"...

a picture of me at genting starbucks!

not so much of it...on sunday was my youngest sist birthday...celebrated it after dinner...baby took some pics with us too...hehe..he was also the same as us,eager to try out the taste of the cake...

it was a blackforest 1...baby chocolate was eating chocolate...and he loved it as well...

the many footsteps path with lotsa butterflies and flowers marshmallows =)

31st May : it's our 4th month together...i was in college as usual...and when he's awake,we text each other...i was hoping that he could rmb this day...but as wat i expected,he forgotten...well,forget bout it then...it's not anything special or wat cuz it's only 4th month..so i guess,i dont mind

at night,we went to 1u for a fish spa and a movie...we watched "Prince of Persia"...

at first,i didnt dare to dip my legs into the water...the fish swarm to bie's leg,they look disgusting...cant they be colourful? at least it looks better...i gave myself a few tries...

bie's legs had been soaking in the water for some time...so when i dip mine into the water,they swarm to my legs...scary but fun...it was so ticklish...when bie told me,"it was only a small vibration"...then only i felt better and without looking at them...i enjoyed it very much and will be back for more too =)

the ticklish tingling sensation...

i didnt know why,i dont feel happy at all while i was in the cinema and before the movie,the part when we were waiting for the hall lights to go on...i was sooo moody that he even asked...

for that i can sense it,i dun feel good as well..it will come,but just the matter of time..

anyway,

Happy 4th Month!

a lil of now and then...

2010-05-28T22:59:00.004+08:00

before i start any of my stories,i wana COMPLAIN~!! yes yes yes~!!! i know i do complain much...guess i'll make a good critic some day eh? =P i wana complain bout the blogger's setting lar...ish...wat happen? the words are sooo huge...and everything's out of space d @.@

on monday : well,tutorial classes officially starts today...i'm having english class again...i'm glad to see this on my time table...but it's gonna be tougher...much tougher T.T we'll be emphasizing on management mainly...like job seeking skills,proposals,meeting and such...

i had been thinking bout sri kl's open day...the school of which i studied for 12 years..yeah...from pre school to primary to high school...the other day,i passed by my school...OMFG~!! their uniforms~!! why changed so much?! so UGLY~!! i'll be going back i guess...just hasnt confirm the date and time yet...

we'll skip tuesday,shall we? cuz there's aint anything extraordinary's happening...except that,i'm growing fungus at home cuz no classes...

on wed : i almost slept during lecture...but i didnt...still,it's very boring~!! gahhh~!! but tutorials was alright =) went to old place for brunch...aunty was so shock and happy to see us there...hehee...stills,nothing much for this day...

on thurs : i had this computer class...we're so curious and excited bout it...ended up,it's just like any other comp classes we had before =( me and lynn went to hand in the convo form...then meet up with yuen...and i saw steven...just hi & bye greeting cuz he's in the car,way across the road...

bie came over at night...was happy to see him...as usual =) he was with me the whole night...and this time,baby did change...he loves bie a lot...licking him and not barking at him at all...ish~!! i know you're gonna say lovable mar...grrr~!!! went to teppanyaki for his dinner...and we walked back to his car which was behind the building...back to my mum's shop,i was talking to her,telling her that her clothes were in the car...and before i could take it,bie had already took it and came walking back..my mum blame me saying how could i let him take...this and all...ish...u see,mummy sides you =(

but overall,still was the same,i'm just happy when he's here with me,right beside =)

on friday : great! it was a public holiday today...and i tot i could sleep a lil longer...but too bad,i had this bad news when daddy woke me up early in the morning...he came in,woke me up and said,"faster wake up! go eat breakfast then go for dental check ups...i had made appointment for all 4 of u"

and i was like,WTF~!!! DENTAL~!!! i hate going to the dentists cuz i'm afraid...ish~!!! but he still forces us to go =( done scaling...wanted to do whitening...but have to make another appointment for tat...sigh...

went out for shopping...walk till my legs hurt...it still hurts now...i guess no more heels for me for now huh? i wana go urut ar~!! going yam cha soon =)

oh~!! before i forgot,i bought the materials d...it's for something which i'm gonna make and promised to give bie half year from now..i haven started doing anything yet...still under-thinking mode...ngek ngek ngek~!!!

being mysterious as i always am,i hope it works this time...why the date u might ask...i'm gonna reveal everything when the timing is right =)

there was once,there was twice...i tried to hold on

2010-05-24T01:44:00.007+08:00

22052010 : went to pyramid and met up with my secondary skul mates...all from diff forms...they were peggy,ky,joo kiat,wei how and *unknown...i forgotten his name...lolz...mayb he's just not so popular tat's why..haha...no offence taken right?

i hadnt had my breakfast yet...so i was super duper hungry...i only get to eat at 1sth-2plus...joo kiat accompany me...went for sakae sushi again =) walked around to look for a necklace tat i wanted...but i found none...so back to amp square,a place where they sing k...i left early...took photos before that...

was waiting bie to came back to kl...took a nap earlier on...bie went off work bout 9plus at night...and we had a silent war going on...because we had misunderstood each other...he asked me to plan for the night cuz he was too tired that he had mental block...

so i'm alright with it...i plan that we'll go for dinner and then to movies...i really tot that he wana go for dinner...but when he came by,he says he dun wana eat...and for that,i didnt plan...and he started to raise a bit of his voice...

i wasnt giving him a slient treatment...i kept silent because i'm afraid and i dont know that to say...he's far too bad mood...so well,we went to 1u...no movies and he fetch me back...my heart aches at that time...for i waited so long,just wana spend time with him,and now,we met not even for 30mins...he sent me home =(

he turned around becuz i couldnt open my hse door...i'm just so sad and so fucked up...i fatt lan zha at my door...and family was heading for a movie...they came bek to change their clothes...but we were alright then...spend time with him till midnight 1sth...

23052010 : woke up really late today...thanks to bie,the msg he sent woke me up...or else,i dunno what time i'll be waking...porridge for breakfast...it tastes,so so...wanted to go out and get sth better instead...but no cars =( tat saga,the workers had it...the wish,daddy drives out...as for the bmw,daddy took the key with him...so i just gotta take watever i have...

watch drama and was practicing piano..for my exam is very near...bie went off work bout evening...i couldnt go to his hse cuz i gotta go dinner with daddy...we went to D'Fortune...i didnt order any main course...just side orders...

i just feel like purging everything out...i felt so fat...and i did before i went to a movie date with bie...we watched "A nightmare on elm street" at 1u...horror movie it was...it thrills me~!! and i kept knocking to bie's head...sorry =(

i rmb back then,before we started,we watched "case 39"...that movie was a thriller too...and we hold hands =) i smile to myself when it's repeating again...but this time,i bite as well...lolz

i was a lil bit of kepoh,shall i say? cuz i checked his fon when he was paying the parking ticket...i had to go thru it so quickly from inbox to outbox that i only read thoroughly...it strucks me once again...bie came back smiling,and i smiled back...i'm acting as tho ntg happen at all...

but i just cant stop my curiousity and i'm tired of guessing...and so,i asked him on the spot...he explained...but i do not know how to believe him...it was chrnc before and now,unhappiness with me? i'm so heart broken that i break into tears...

why there are so many troubles coming for us?
misunderstandings?
to tear us apart?
i was asking myself,why there's so much coincidence?
or was it really coincidence?
the angels and devils were having a war inside my mind...

i tried to be an understanding gf...
i tried to get close to you...
i tried everything i could...
i gave everything i can...
i hold on everytime...
even if it's repeating...

for there was once...and there was twice...
i just hold on no matter how...
even if the cut goes deeper...

if i could...
i would like to be innocent...
i would like to be as dumb as possible...

but i couldnt...
because of my experience...
pls dun start saying that i'm comparing u with other guys...
it's just not...
it's just that i'm sensitive and i dun wana go thru it anymore...
that's why i'm much more aware...

i dun wana check any of your stuffs anymore...
phones,laptops...
unless i was too "lucky" to see it accidentally

i told you that...
i'll hang on to you no matter what...
i'll cope with you...
i'll stay with you...
i'll not leave you...
and i kept my promises...

that is why,no matter how much scars u leave on my heart...
no matter how much i hurt because of those misunderstandings...
no matter how much i cried...
no matter how tough it is...
no matter how...
i'll still hang on...
because i'm truly in love with you...
for i wanted only,was to be with you

the long term relationship that we both wanted
the future that we promised to each other...

yes,i'm fragile...
yes,i'm all torn apart...
yes,my heart is full of scars and scratches...
but still,i wanted you the most...

trust is really important...
but it's fading slowly...
i just dont know how anymore...
with so much things happen...
i'm afraid...
just far too afraid that i had to protect myself...

drew,
can you please secured me?
can you please hold on to me?
can you please not let go?
can you please not stop loving me?
can you please?

it's gonna be our 4th month in a week time...
i love you~

back to college...

2010-05-20T23:56:00.008+08:00

this is gonna be a boring post...because i still haven find the inspiration to write...just writting and posting it in case i forgot...as i said,my blog is like my memories =) but i'll skip sunday,because it's just a very usual day with my usual routines...

17052010 : it was suppose that my class started today...but it was canceled because they needed the venue for briefing for students from other branches...well,as i know,bie will be back from genting today and he'll be reaching home bout morning-afternoon...

so,me and my mates planned to go to college and ask bout our orientation and stuffs lidat...but i woke up late...haha...cuz the night before i slept bout 3am plus...i'm sorry peeps =( but i'm waiting them at steven's corner to have our breakfast...

yuen and lynn reached bout 10.30am...cy didnt join cuz she's going out and ck went for gym...so it's only 3 of us...we chit chat alot~!! HEY! it's been so long we didnt meet each other...ofcuz there's lotsa updates...haha...we fetch lynn home after that and i went to pump petrol for my car...

our next plan was to go swimming at bie's house...yuen followed...by the time i reached parking lot,bie called saying tat he had unload everything and he's coming home...me and yuen swam first...and i received this pants from cy as a souvenir from bali...

at first,i tot i couldnt wear the pants...because i pull it's rubber to it's highest limit...i kept complaining to yuen tat i couldnt wear lar this and tat...but i do try on because,never try never know...SURPRISINGLY,i can wear~!!! jumping around in the toilet and rushing yuen to be faster...and she even got fed up...haha...cuz i just cant wait to swim mar

bie joined in later on...i felt more like we're soaking in the water than swimming because we just non stop talking...haha...i even went to the children's pool to play BECAUSE it's the only place where it has the slide...no kids were there at that time =P yuen went to work after that,and both bie and i went back home to take a nap..he's exhausted i know...

18052010 : planned to watch movie with bie...since it's his holiday and i wana be with him whenever i could...so,i reached his home bout 10.36am..the plan was to ask him renew his licence,being such a forgetful person and a busy man,just wana remind and hope he can settle everything within these few days...

he was still sleeping...mi mi mo mo there...bout 12sth plus only we went to get our breakfast...then renew his licence and then went to wangsa maju to take his IC...by the time we settle everything,it was bout 2sth-3pm d...

we went to pavilion and watched "Robin Hood"...it was very jam way back home...cuz of the rain...and it was even much more congested on my way back home...because of the accidents...reached home bout 8 =(

19052010 : class officially started today...12pm to 2pm...didnt take my breakfast today...was rushing to college to take the car sticker then off to class...the lecture was REALLY BORING~!!! ish~!!! and there's so much students that the lecture hall couldnt fill them all up...late comers were to stand or sit by the staircase...because there aint any spaces left...

i went to bie's again...bought our brunch and eat at his house...we continued watching "sherlock holmes"...lolz...but up till now,it's still half way...because we ter-slept...i went home around 6pm cuz i gotta fetch sist to tuition...

but at night,bie came over to have his din din with me...we went to D'Fortune...cuz Milwaukee closed d and since he wanted to eat spaghetti so much...he order another side order too...i forgotten wat is it called...but it has cheese,salmon and ham in it...when he take a piece to eat and i saw the cheese hanging half way,my tongue SLIPPED and i was suppose to say PIZZA HUT,but instead,i said PIZZI HUT~!!

ALAMAK~!!
he's always laughing at me and with this,he laugh even more...but i love to see him laugh rather than the angry face or emo-and-lotsa-stuff-on-his-mind look...so,we laugh at my sillyness...he went home after the din din cuz he had to work the next day...

20052010 : woke up really early for my piano class...bie went to work as usual...
well,it's May 20th...i was planning to msg him up at 1314 hour and telling him "5201314"...he replied me sth very sweet...yes,he always stings me with his sweet words and for that,i always called him a sweet talker

a moment later,he called me up and say lunch? i say alright =) we went to metroprima jusco cuz he wanted to eat teppanyaki...we walked along those pc shops cuz he wanted to buy earphones for his psp...

on our way back to the parking lot,i saw my favourite car again,Toyota Rav4 (2 doors)...i pointed it to him and he kept saying that he'll get one before i do and sell it off after a month...damn~!!!

then,on our way back to his car,he took this flyer which says,"Restoran Barry Fresh" and he asked me to read quickly...he expected that i'll pronouce it as "Very Fresh" BUT instead,i read it out as "Barry Frish"...and there goes again...he's laughing~!! non stop...all the way out and back to my home...saying that he'll post it out into FB...ish~!!

i took a nap after i watch a drama...cuz i'm really so tired...

before this,he told me that he'll be leaving for penang by midnight...and so,during the available hours,i was with him and he came to my house...waiting for my sist and all...

it was an EXPRESS night~ =P

we went for din din after fetching sist...we have bak kut teh...and i SLIPPED my tongue AGAIN~!! this time,for i was going to say "YAO ZAR GUAI"...i said,"CHAR KEOW TEOW"~!! haha...he laughed ofcuz...i dunno wat happen and tat it slipped so frequently =(

we still have time before sist's class ended...so we decided to go pasar malam and walk around...it's my first time walking night market with him and it's DRIZZLING~!! and i met william there...the car team member...just a hello-bye greetings cuz i think tat was his gf tat i saw...dun wana give any troubles to him cuz as i heard,his gf is one who is very easy to misunderstood stuffs...

we talked in the car while waiting for sist...and finally he sent us home...after that,he's set off to his boss's hse and then off to penang...

21052010 : as for today,woke up at 7.30am...class was at 10am...gotta go early cuz we had a breakfast dates amongst us and we need to renew our student ID and then collect our car stickers...went to steven's corner again=( aunty didnt open today...sigh...

ck was concern bout my purging attitudes and he even warn me not to let him see that i went to toilet...haha...okay then,i wouldnt let you see =P
and as cy came by,she asked bout my nose...dun worry lar my dear darlings...i'm alright and i'll be fine =) i love you all and thanks for being concern =)

and so as i mentioned before,the lecture's hall isnt enough to fill up all of us and we're late..so,no place for us to sit...gotta sit on the staircase =( vv pathetic lar~!!! ISH~!!! i pay to study in a good and comfortable environment...NOT THIS~!!! ISH~!!!

and dun give me an answer by saying,"i'll might be thinking whether to open up another group or not for the lecture"~!! well,i tell u,you sud be~!! DAMN IT~!! takkan u wan us to be the same way for 2 years...ish~!! went to collect our books after the lecture ended...

no matter how much time i'm spending with you,i'm not getting bored of it...
because it is the only time i can get close to you...♥

I met you once more..

2010-05-17T02:43:00.007+08:00

from where i stopped,as i said,i'll be heading up to genting with louis,alex,pei chie and vincent...it's been so long i hadnt been there to feel the cold breeze...i rmb back then,used to go up twice a month or at least,once a month...that was way back then...

had my dinner before that...i just ate a couple of spoons of it and i couldnt finish the rest of it...as i mentioned before,i felt the guilt once more...so i stopped eating...went to desapark city to wait for the rest...

i enjoyed sitting in vincent's car...the speed he used when we're heading up,the stable-ness of the car...and because of that,i wasnt afraid at all...plus,maybe it's BMW,that's why i'm confident with it..we talked a lot...listening to some very old classic songs...

i remembered bie said that he's working outdoor...so my guess,it's Arena...and thanks to vincent for parking at theme park =) while walking down to the starbucks,bie waited me at the gate nearby as he told me earlier...finally,i saw him...he continued his work and i went to yam cha

ordered hot choc,bloody PMS made me couldnt drink ice blended mocha T.T GgAhhHH~!! things happened later on...

bie went off work vv soon and he came to pick me up...we went to old town to have a drink and he's hungry...a peanut butter toast for him...few of his colleagues bump onto us later on...i stayed with him until the gang wana go home...

he read my blog and asked wat was the last 2 paragraph about...i couldnt answer him because it was a question he answered me earlier on at oldtown and 2nd,i just couldnt say it out face to face...

yes,i know peeps...my confidence had been really very low lately...and i knew that too...hl,dun lar so worry =) and ck,i had been kept reading the dialogue of us bout this very same topic...
To hl : I guess you know the reasons behind it right? i really dont know how to gain it back for only one way...but no worries,kay? i'll be alright if i didnt get too over...wouldnt i?

Regarding the previous post,one of the decision i made was to never be so sticky and manja to my bf...i'm afraid that he'll get annoyed...But,he tried to convince that i wasnt,on the very same day at oldtown...but it was only one of the decision,NOT the only decision...get?

about the vacation : Bie,i'm sorry bout the reaction i gave you the other day when u said u wana go vacation with me...because i just lost hope and no matter how much i love to plan stuffs,i still couldnt plan with your unflexible time...i'm just sorry...i'm not blaming you or trying to say anything...maybe,i shall say i'm starting to get used to your working life? =)

it's a good thing,isnt it? no worries,my sweetheart...i wouldnt leave as how i promised you before just because of your work...instead,i'll hold on to you much stronger...because i know,you're the one...we'll go next time...there's always plenty of chances for us...like what you said,"we have forever"

i'll still be here...
i'll still kept our promises...
i'll still bare with you like how i always did...
i'll still love you as always...♥

changes i've decided to make

2010-05-15T17:05:00.006+08:00

12052010 : as planned earlier,we're going to tenji...so first,i went to pick steven up from kelana jaya's lrt station...i haven prepared anything...even my hair was dried halfway...yuen was at my hse already...so i went home,make up and get prepared...cuz i reserved the table for 1.30...

and steven was rushing me...i just hate it when ppl did tat to me,cuz i get so nervous and that my make up will go wrong...and it did...so we're late for a couple mins...i'm driving wish since we're going to solaris...and u noe wat happens when yuen sit in my car...haha...she wana watch the same movie again "shopaholics"...haha

we went to collect our table and we were all already very hungry~!!! yuen took every diff sushi each...as usual,we always take photos...but this time,we took very few photos =( btw,tat day,tenji's air cond wasnt functioning well...i was sweating,so as yuen too...eating halfway,i received this call from bie...he asked me to go out to the outdoor and looked out to the highway...he saw me BUT i didnt see him at all =( UNFAIR AR~!!! ish...

we went back home at 4pm...they stay in my room till 5pm...steven was so sleepy tat he even slept on my bed...after that,we sit in line and do massage for each other ^^ it's so relaxing...thanks steven~!! =)

on thursday,i went to bie's place to help him pack his stuff to go genting for the next day...folding his clothes,waiting for him to put it into the luggage...watching him,loading his luggage...he even put the remote control into his luggage...this is weird...i didnt say a word cuz i tot he uses it to hang on to sth...he even take the 50 pieces cd and put it in...it's getting soo weird and i finally ask him...he was laughing...ish...trying to play a fool around...and we watched "sherlock holmes" together =)

14052010 : a very ordinary day it was...but teresa invited me to opera...i called yuen to come along too...but she couldnt come along...so i go myself...wanted to park jockey cuz it's nearer and safer...and bie wanted me to park there as well...but there isnt any spaces =( maybe it's late already...tat's why...so i park inside pyramid and i gotta walk so far...sigh...

met shea fern at the entrance...well,opera was very normal to me...but i dun really like it there...cuz dance floor was packed...met new frens...i was a lil surprised becuz i never knew there's still guys out there who like plump gals...but i'm sorry,i'm taken by him and i wouldnt stay this way for long =)

went home quite early too...bout 2sth...and my hair still smells like shits =( with the ciggarette and liquor smell all around...poor hair...later i'm going up to genting for yam cha lu =)

you know,after so many things happened,i realized i should get out of my cinderella world and face the real world which is cruel and realistic...i needed change badly...and i will indeed...from inside out...from how much i trust ppl to how i treat them...from my attitude to my physical appearance...everything will be change...no matter what,soon...you'll see a different me...pls dun blame me if u ever feel that i'm different...

on another note : i had this feeling...it's so weird...everytime i eat sth,i felt so guilty...so much guilt that i feel like purging it out...the guilt i felt was after i eat,i had this imagination of me growing fatter each time...and i will purge it out everytime...sigh...

her holiday trip with him...

2010-05-12T00:59:00.068+08:00

hadnt been updating my blog since a while...there's lil bit of here and there that happened this few days which makes me felt so depress...but i shall start it with today first then only i'll talk bout the holidays...

11052010 : today is the day of our examinations results released...ofcuz i'm nervous bout it...but i didnt get to checked it until i'm back from piano class...piano teacher praised that i had improvements...well,this is not it...it's just tat sth's weird...i hadnt been practicing for more than a week and she praised...the other weeks that i practiced till my fingers bleed,she didnt say a thing to me at all...

went home,ofcuz the first thing i did is log on into the tarc website...i'm just so nervous,so afraid,hands sweating,heart's beating faster than ever...it's the time i shall checked my results and i passed all~!!! i'm happy...so as before,i told bie tat i wanted to go tenji because i hadnt been there since their opening...i msg up steven bout it and later on,i received a call from yuen...and we'll be heading there tomolo...so this is it~!! FOTOS~!! hahaha...

all 3 things had made me happy...so here comes the final one...the most important one as well...sweetheart promised me something...something that i requested as well but he didnt realized it until i say out...bie,i wana say,no matter how fragile i am...i'm ready to listen to whatever things...and EVERYTHING as well...i rather heard from you than from 3rd party or than i found out myself =)

Her holidays she spent with him (09052010 - 10052010) :
actually we're planning to go kuala terengganu bcuz bie said the sunset there is very beautiful...but we changed course to kuantan...and i love beach so much that i hope we could stay nearby a beach...listening to the waves and all...it makes me felt so relaxing...

the opening is very excited as u read on...but i couldnt continue anymore because it was a holiday that we didnt get to go...this was because bie received an urgent call and he had a show to do at putrajaya...so ended up,i just went to his hse to overnite...yes,i'm very disappointed but at the same time,i can do nothing...with all hopes of going to holiday with him,and now we couldnt...

on the very same morning which was bout 1am plus on sunday,we almost had a fight...he was in hot tempered,raising up his voice...but all i can do is to keep myself calm and kept telling myself that he was in a bad mood because he didnt have enough sleep...i sud understand him and all...

i was there finally early in the morning bout 5am i reached...before that,he did msg me up,a very long 1...apologizing for raising his voice and he said sth very sweet =) he was there to cuddle me up in my sleep...

woke up bout 11am plus...he need to set off to work...and as for me,i went to leisure mall to meet up with yuen...steven came to fetch me up...and surprisingly,he knows the way =) and when i found out,his ex stays nearby..haha...his life is very much alike with bie from the stories i heard...while waiting for him to reach,this is wat i did...hahah

looked like teacher,right? i'm not AV ar...ish~!!

both of us trying to act as tho we're selling sony ericsson phones XD
driver of the day with my glasses

yes i know i looked ugly...cuz i didnt put on make up...not a single thing...even the basics i didnt apply...haha...i reached home bout 5plus...and i thought of going for a swim...becuz it's just so boring sitting at home...i even asked his dad to come along...haha...it's still manners lar...

halfway thru,i get stomach cramped and i stopped...laying down on those long chairs,trying to get tanned as well...i still cant stand it anymore...so i went home...i guess i was too hungry...cuz i ate a few pieces of crackers and the pain's gone...sweetheart still hasnt get home...and i had nothing to do...

took some fotos after the bath =P

so i checked up his lappie after my bath...now,this is the part where all my depressions starts...i first starting to look at his conv with hl...he talked bout ernest...and i just read on...i wasnt angry or wat...i was just hoping that he could tell me everything tat bothers him to me...just anything and everything...it's like before when we're together...it makes me feels that i'm important to him...but instead,he didnt...i felt i'm so useless...that i couldnt do anything at all...i never did a thing successful for him before...it's NEVER...i felt that i'm a failure as his gf...i'm just a lil bit unhappy...

i put tat aside,i was planning to ask him when he get back home...so continue reading some chat boxes of those ppl i know...i saw sth which i didnt know how to react...it just strucks me...i called and ask him but he couldnt hear and there's a waiting call tat he needs to pick up...i was all alone in the room...thinking how and why could he do this to me...i cried...i cried so much that his blanket went wet,so much tat my eyes hurts...but still,it's the heart that hurts the most...

when i went up to take a tissue,he opened the door...the first thing i did is pushed him away and rushed to the toilet...luckily daddy and mummy didnt saw that...i know because they were outside sending their grand children home...staying inside the toilet for some time and i heard plates noises...and i tot he's in the kitchen...so i came out of the toilet and went back to the room...there i saw,he was laying down there...i didnt wished to discuss...

but we talked right after the dinner...by tat time,i still have a 70 of trust and 30 of suspicion...he went to bed early...and i was onlining...chatting with yuen and steven...telling her wat happened...i just needed some fresh air badly and tat i told them i wana get out of the hse...at first,they're trying to convince me to stay home...but tat doesnt works...so we went to sg long to yam cha...i just informed bie and i left the hse around 12am...

i needed someone to talk to so much...yuen was there,listening and she ask me to put tat 30 away...sigh...and we kena roadblock...i didnt had the licence cuz i was driving bie's car and the licence was left at the guard hse...i used yuen's ic and licence to act as mine and as for her,she used my ic as hers...surprisingly,the police didnt notice and they set us off...yuen was so nervous,i am as well..haha...

we sit and talked till 2sth oni we left...steven was so worried bout me...but yuen trying to calm him down by saying,"dun worry,she'll be fine becuz she's been thru tougher days than you ever imagine"...haha...i guess it did work...but guys,thanks for the accompaniment,esp you yuen...it's so late and u did come out for me =) you could imagine how heart broken i am,how pain it is,how suffocating it is...i still couldnt sleep when i reached home,so i just looked at his face...with the lights off,i still can see clearly...it reminds me of how we started back then...and in the end,i've chosen to trust him

i fell asleep and i woke up the next morning at 10...cuz he woke up,that's wat make me awake...he went to work tat day as usual...i'm staying home,hoping tat he'll be home early cuz it's my last day there...i went out to have breakfast with yuen at kfl hawker centre...

yuen went to work as well...so i just have to go home...i had ntg to do...i'm just too bored and too free...seeing his room in a mess,i planned to sweep the whole house...and i did...washed his clothes...and it rains after that,so i have to help mummy take the dried clothes and put it in...bie did warned me not to fold the clothes,and i listen...i even clean up his cupboard and his table...wanted to went for a swim,but it's raining =(

so while waiting,i took a nap...tat was 4sth i rmb...cuz i didnt sleep well the night before...bie called at 6sth saying he's off...i'm happy...so i prepared myself and just wait for him to reach home...we had dinner and i'm staying a lil while longer then only i went home...as i wanted to see him a lil longer,we went to mamak to have his supper...haha..

only the ones who hurt you,can heal your pain ♥

tho i didnt get to go on holidays,i'm still glad that i can spend my time with you...we shall go next time ok?

i believe everything happened for a reason...and i can only blame myself for it...if i hadnt check his lappie at the first place,i wouldnt become so depress till i couldnt breath...

i really hope i can do my job as his gf well...but it seems tat everytime when i tried my best,it always fails...i hope and wish i can be his special and only one...i guess i'm really a failure...it's not that i'm putting all the blame onto myself,it's tat the reality shown...i just hope he could tell me everything instead of other ppl...there's this feeling making me felt tat i'm so useless for him,couldnt help him in any way...even being a listener to him, i oso couldnt do tat and tat's the basic..

sumtimes,it's not that he didnt wana tell me things,it's just that he's afraid...tat's why i didnt blame him for that and i could only put the blame onto myself...

sigh...i'm not good at putting words together...but i just could felt tat he rather tell other ppl than telling it to me...so...what do you think? i'm a failure,right? i'm trying my very best,and i hope tat it wouldnt happen again...

i just wish to be his listener when he needed a pair of ears...

i just wish to be his sandbag when he needed to release his anger...

i just wish to lend him my shoulders when he needed to lean on one...

i just wish...

04052010

2010-05-04T23:13:00.003+08:00

went to the gardens and mid valley with mates today...picked hl up and off we went to meetup point to meet wy and cy...sth i gotta complain,gardens' parking lot~!!! i cant find any parking space at all and it's weekday leh hello~!! had been turning so many rounds just to look for a parking,up and down~!!! and we found 1 finally...

wy and cy was at nike shop...but i'm starving...i havent even eat my breakfast yet...so me and lynn went to sushi zanmai first...as usual lor...i love the ones which have tuna on it and we order a set rice...i shared it with lynn...cuz i couldnt finish...the urge of eating sushi was here long ago already and finally today i get to eat =P wy and cy came to joined us later...and we took fotos...

i've chosen one of the funniest ones to send it to sweetheart...reason why i choose the silly ones instead of good ones cuz my guess was he's been vv tired working and i'm trying to make his day,to make him smile at least...dun ask me did he smile or not,becuz i don't know it myself too =)

after that,we walked to midvalley...first,to nike...wy wana show us a jacket she wana buy for her bf...colour's striking enough...but like wat cy said,the back doesnt look good...it's still isnt enuf to convince her not to buy...then i ask her wat size he wears...haha..out of sizes already =P then off to converse,my turn...i bought the jacket i wanted~!!! OWH~!! finally~!! damn happy ar....then to puma,sasa,bonita,vincci and all...it's been a very tiring day...

at night,bie went off work early...he came by my hse to pick me up and we went for dinner...we spent our time bout 2 hours lidat oni =( i still miss him right now...we planned bout our holiday trip =) hehe...he went back bout 10pm...he's very tired already...i felt that...and before i went off,i gave him back the jacket i borrowed the other day and exchange another 1...the jacket i love most to see him wear it...ngek ngek ngek~!!!

right now,i'm soaking my legs into hot water while blogging =P with salt,because my blood circulation had become worse due to me wearing heels all the time...

bie,if you cant make it for the holiday,it's alright lar...just let it be ok? we'll go next time,wherever it is,as long as it's you whom i am spending the holidays with,i'm happy enough...tonight,i shall hug your jacket to bed and with your fragrance on it,it's gonna make me sleep soundly like a baby =P

i just read hl's blog...the way she wrote it,it's so funny...she claims that i ate so much tuna sushi that it almost seems that today was tuna day...hahha..silly...i love tuna lar =P

one step at a time...

2010-05-02T03:28:00.009+08:00

grrr~!!! i soooo wana upload photos into both my blog and fb page...but the stupid line...oh gosh~!! damn it~!! kept showing the "cannot find server" page~!!! geram betul...well,i've just gotta blog on without the pics then...

30042010 : a very ordinary day...as usual,piano lessons in the morning...was at home the whole day...till at night...henry,sort of my bro,invited me to club...didnt wana go cuz it's still weekdays and sure very boring..cuz i dont know his frens...in the end,i rejected...

2134 hour : sweetheart went off work early today...he called...by tat time,he's still at putrajaya...he said he's hungry and wana watch movie...and i so so so missed him...so end up i said i wana meet him...we went to 1u...suppose to watch movie...but all the tickets were sold out...so end up,we went down to look for his frens who's setting up for "Tokio Hotel" concert...chat and stay a lil while there and then we're off to PWTC...

bie bought supper for them...and this time,i met ah toh...his respectful bro...the first impression he gave to me was a good 1 indeed...frenly and kept smiling all the time...being 3 8...and i love it...mayb it's becuz i'm as 3 8 as well...haha...he came out from nowhere then started to talk a lil with me...and the happiest part was,he mentioned i'm slim and that i wasnt as fat as how i looked in picture..oh god~!!! bie read my mind,and telling out to him that i'm happy...lolz...ah toh was the first from his side who said that...i'm glad as well...slowly,i feel like i'm getting their blessings...so i guess,i shall take one step at a time,eh?

from their expressions,i guess the supper doesnt taste good...haha...and the pitiest one ofcuz is bie lar...it's as though his indo mie cant be eaten at all...we stayed for an hour and a half lidat...tat place seriously is full of mosquitoes...ish~!! i've got bitten here and there =( reached home bout 3am...was tired...so after i receive a safely-reached-home-call from baby boi,straight off i went to bed...

01052010 : well,i'm seriously growing fungus at home in the start of the day...first of all,it's labour day...so every mall's gonna be packed...then 2nd,outing plan was canceled...cuz some were either not free or no transport...i thought of hl suddenly...asking her to accompany me to pyramid to get tat t-shirt...she was accompanying her mum tat time...so i guess,most probably she couldnt...and i found someone...who is evonne~!!!

went to pick evonne up and off we go to sunway pyramid...it's really damn jam wei...no parking summo...you can see lotsa cars parked outside,parked by the roadside and by the bridge oso got~!!! scary du...and inside the parking bays,the cars cant even move...but luckily,we found a parking space...hahah...so lucky...

went to catchup to look for that shirt...but they had no more size for it T.T then i went to converse to try on tat jacket...the one bie and i saw at midvalley...it looks good,evonne said...so i guess,i'll get this one then =) finally a decision had been made...

i wanted to show her the other one...but couldnt find...so just let it be...fetch her home right after that...cuz she need to go back to hometown...kinda in a rush...it was raining...went home right after that...online a lil while then i received a msg from bie...i was sooo happy~!! haha...

went to meet him...we watched "daybreakers"...great movie it was...went back after that cuz i need to watch movie with my family...borrowed his jacket...hehhe...i'm so gonna hug it to bed tonight...i know,you're gonna say tat it's dirty and how long tat u hadnt been washing it...well,i dun mind...cuz it's still your sweat and it has your fragrance on it =) it's as tho u're here with me...hehe...silly right?

right now it's 4 sth,almost 5 in the morning...i still havent sleep yet cuz i just cant...haha...

lynn,if you're reading this...you might feel curious of wat i wana ask u just now...cuz i checked back the history of the conversation of u and drew...i was curious when i saw the date and sth bout you asking him to plan my celebration...just lidat only =) hehe...tat's wat i wana ask...and i'm gonna ask u more soon...muhahaha...he still felt guilty as ever that you guys can do sth for me whereas he cant...sigh...i hope he wont,because I'M GONNA CLAIM MY CELEBRATION BACK~!! muahhaha~!!!

bie,i'm really happy these 2 days...tho we did nothing special,but with you around,it's enough already...i appreciate the moments we spent...eventho it was just a simple chat in your car...i still enjoyed it =) love you as always~

Happy 3rd Month

when the hero comes along..

2010-04-29T00:05:00.006+08:00

you're just like a hero to me...yes,you know who u are...everytime,when i'm in doubt,you'll always tried to convince me to give you hints to open the previous post and the ones before...well,he always wins...

the same always,i'm afraid that after him reading it,it'll bring problems to him...yes,it did...but in another way,it clears my mind off...being a simple guy he is,now i know,he wouldnt let anything that will destroy our relationship to come between us...and for that,i love you♥~

for twice i've been wrong and mistaken for everything...for twice,i've felt the guilt...and this time,it's even more...as for the part where i misunderstood of going to her place,he's been working hard lately to get what i want,which was a laptop...just to get what i want...i never thought he remembered...i was happy to hear that,but at the same time,the guilt i felt,its painful...

he had his points...for i never ask him,i wouldnt know what was going on actually...and for that,my questions left unanswered...at times,i give myself my own answers without even realizing it,then more questions came on and i'm back to square 1 again...he's right...
he's not just a bf to me...he's a very special one...

having doing the same mistake for twice,the guilt i felt...and for all he was asking,i'll give him this time =) telling him what's on my mind,what's making me feeling this way and such...it was called honesty to him...and i know,i was wrong on my thoughts...

sweetheart,i know i've been apologizing a lot lately...but i'm really sorry that i created even more problems to you...there wouldn't be a next time anymore...i love you...u've a short term memory loss,like me too,i never thought that you'll remember small things like that...in return,i'll give you what you've been asking for,since long time...i'm sorry =(

a post i've read from vincent's blog...and i'm gonna quote sth from there...because,it's meaningful and sth true that i've gone thru too...

"building up a relationship is like building up a castle.
how much time do you need to spend on building a castle?
how hard do you need to work to build up a castle?
how much effort do you need to pay in order to build a castle?

so hard, so much time, so much effort you need to pay on that castle.. sure its happy to see the progress improves everyday as you give out everything you've got just to build this one and only castle.
but.. what if it just collapsed as the earthquake strikes? you've given out anything, everything just for this castle, and now its gone within a second. can you imagine how does it feel when you lost everything you have just within a second? no words can ever describe the feelings and you are just so helpless to do a thing to help yourself.

im not so strong to build another castle instantly as i already lost everything i've got. i need time to rest, i need time to regain my confidence, i need time to heal my broken heart, and most importantly, i need time to forget...
i smile, it doesn't mean that im happy.
i laugh, it doesn't mean that i have no sorrows.
i did not frown, it doesn't mean that im alright.
i did not cry, because i know tears wouldn't bring you back to me."

a very simple example of building up a castle may relates to relationships...just a part of it i've quoted...and it's all written to express his feelings...for the last part,last sentence,he's right bout it...no tears would bring the other half back to the one waiting...everyone was the same...no matter how much you cry,when it's gone,it's really gone...

for how much i've lost in the past,it came to make me realize that appreciating whateva i have NOW is the most important...what's the point of lookin back when you have the best right in front of you,right?

and to everyone out there,never take the other half as granted..NEVER~!!
i've been there...not the one who take the other person as granted...but as the one who's being the other way round...treated me as if he's granted for me...trust me,tho he didnt say it out,it's a feeling u can feel and it doesnt feel good...it's similar to those feeling who ppl just used you to achieve what they wanted...

right now,right in front of me...andrew K.L. Koh,was the one...the one i've been long searching for..and for the time i've wanted to give up,the time i've realized one who doesnt exist,he came into my life bringing me all the hapiness i want...

just wana say,i'm proud to have you,my sweetheart...

I LOVE YOU

Signed,

Forever Yours~

♥♥♥

slowly...she's broken inside

2010-04-27T00:19:00.010+08:00

saturday : went for piano lesson early in the morning,then straight off to work after that...work till 7pm only i get to off...was seriously tired cuz i didnt get to sleep much this few weeks...and i was STARVING cuz i had my breakfast at 7am and i didnt eat my lunch...until then,i had my dinner with my family...tho i'm starving,i still didnt eat much...wondered why...i was craving for tao foo far too...but too bad...there's no more room for it and it had already been sold out =( i was home all night long...resting and watching DVDs...till late night...

sunday : i had my breakfast with my family...and as i promised baby boi,i will gave him the whole day...went over to his place in the afternoon...when i was at the carpark,only i know that he wasnt asleep yet...looking at me into my eyes,telling me how he miss me...oh bie,the way he say it,it's with so much feeling...i cuddle him into his sleep...i slept too cuz i still didnt get to sleep well the nights before...

i had this NIGHTMARE...whereby,we had this reunion lunch...there's so many ppl...from my side to his side...everyone was there...this restaurant we're in,it's sooo fancy and it looks like luna bar...it had more than 1 floor...we had our lunch...then all of sudden,i ran out to this huge and beautiful garden...standing in front of a grave of someone i knew and i cried as hardly as i could...andrew saw that but he just didnt give a damn bout it at all...watching me crying then he left...he left me forever...i was sooo heartbroken that i woke up...i felt my face with tears...real tears...and i felt relieve that it was a dream after all...i couldnt sleep back right after that...just watching andrew sleeping...

got up to online a lil while then i wake him up...we went to mid valley for movie...watched "THE CRAZIES"...a great movie...this movie,was similar to another movie i watched long ago...forgotten the name...before that,i went to PUMA and i found the jacket i wanted...this time i wore M size...i was sooo happy...haha...but i still havent decide whether to buy or not...bie brought me to CONVERSE to show me the shoe he wanted to buy...before leaving,OMFG~!! i saw jackets again...the white one was having the gold lining and as for the black,silver lining...i just cant make up my mind yet till today...all 3 of them had the same price...sigh...hard decision ar~!!
i told bie that supposing i had to work today and he too the same...but we still spare some time for each other...lolz...was surprised that we 2 did the same thing and never tell each other until i told him tat...went home right after the movies...

monday : went to work vv early in the morning...sooo tiring...there are sooo many problematic forms...sigh...but lucky for me,as abby is sending me to the client's office tomorrow...attire code was office wear...OL ar this time...i guess this time job will be much more easier =) and may get to know more ppl...muahhaah...just cant wait for tomolo...

Ask me password for this part of the post

thinking of taking on some laxatives to aid me in achieving wat i want

as for how much i think,i think because you mean a lot to me~

23042010

2010-04-23T23:27:00.003+08:00

a very usual day for me...had been practicing my piano for the whole day...yes...i really mean it...it's WHOLE DAY...you can see my fingertips looking red and becoming vv sensitive...as for the nails,there's a lil bit of blood...and as for my left hand's fingers,are becoming vv red and swollen...exams coming and i'm kinda nervous...

while i'm taking a break off,i called up my other half...yeah,she's back already...and we talked non stop...our stories are never ending ones...even if u let us meet everyday...just like our schooling days...she asked bout my life including andrew...then i told her everything...there's a lot i gotta tell her...cuz she didnt online much...at times,she even called from singapore...

she told me stuffs too...between she herself and her bf plus ex...haha...darling, i PUI FOK u~!!! lolz...telling her i wan this and that...nahhh...just laptop...she scolded me,"i tot you buy already at PC Fair?~!!! then u go PC Fair for wat?!" hahaha...lolz...she sounded funny...i didnt buy darling,was there doing some surveys and walk around only...

i told her to visit my blog...and i told her wat happened the past few days...she always listens...always...i just love her so so much...not only tat,she oso tells me wat's wrong in a way tat i could accept...yeah darling,i know that it's because that he didnt have the time for me and that's why my imaginations go much wilder,and i even tend to keep it to myself...

but i just didnt realize that myself too...until you told me that...but i cant help it...gurls are still gurls...one small thing could even trigger me to think and imagine horrible stuff...maybe it's just because that i dont wana loose him...but at the same time,holding too tight would make him leave too...sigh...

how i wish,we're back to the ol' days...you had my back and i had yours...telling each other what's the prob...at least,we're letting it out,not keeping it like this till i've gone crazy...how i wish that both of us stay by each other...but reality shown,u've gotta study at SG...and i'm staying here doing my ACCA till the day i go to UK...but still,we always spare some time for both of us =)

darling,u have a safe trip alright? i know i know,you're envy of your fren who can get the prada wallet all by herself...me too =( dun be lar k? u're gonna work soon and i'm sure u or your bf can get 1 for urself =) i'll wait for your return =) then we'll go out with fer fer and weng kee...muahahhaa...and i wana claim my birthday celebration~!!! lolz...as planned,call peggy and caroline out too lar =) i love you~♥

i'm gonna work tomolo...as data entry clerk...gotta wake up sooo early in the morning...cuz i'm having piano lesson at 8.30 in the morning...i'm sorry chris...i know u wanted me to work for u badly...tho u can rise my pay,i oso dun wana work tat particular job lar...i'm not good at teaching ppl and i had no patience at all...lolz...i'm so sorry chris...next time ok? heheh =) you're the best agent i had before...from all those jobs i had been working,you're the best of the best...cuz you taught us tricks,treat us makan and playing with us at arcades,watch movies and all...thanks yar...just the next event job,ok? =)

it's gonna be a long day tomolo...and i'm hoping it's coming faster...plans are up ahead...and outings...and i decided to gave up all my branded bags for my lappie =( yeah,it's kinda sad...and i saw 1 gucci and LV bag that i really want...i guess,it gotta wait then...and jacket too...i soooo wana get a new jacket...tat has gotta wait too...i must must must must get a laptop~!!! argh~!! enough du...off to bed~

night~

thanks sweetheart andrew~!!!

2010-04-22T21:29:00.007+08:00

hey readers! notice anything new? yeah...major changes eh? not so much lar...just that the background turned white from black and as for the header,it's from my sweetheart...he changed all this while i'm away...thanks bie for doing all this...it might be sth small for some of you guys out there,but all these small things do count too...

ck,he read the previous post already...yes,he opened it...chun eh? lolz

both of us,didnt sleep much last night...i couldnt sleep too...tossing round and round...as for him,he's working sth out...that's wat he told me...and i woke up vv early this morning...slept less than 5 hours...i think the same goes to him as well...cuz the msg he send was early too...

i'm a failure as his gf...i tend to make things goes wrong...and the worst part is,i tend to make them go from wrong to worse...you dont know how bad i felt bout it...how bad it is...all i want is him to be happy,but i tend to make him feel the other way round...

bie,i'm sorry for all those unhappiness that i had brought to you...it is obvious that i had been thinking too much for the previous post and i tend to go wrong direction...it went even worse when i keep it to myself...

is it because of me that you couldnt sleep last night? for how much you dont wana be a part of my pain,it goes the same to me too...i'm sorry and thanks for all these...all these changes in my blog =) i love them and i love you too...from day to day,whenever i feel sad,i always read back our messages...yes,from all over again...from the first day we sms up till today...it's not sth diligent to be done or wat...it's just that i wan to recall our memories...from the day i had nothing up till today,the love you gave me...everytime i read,those things that we do on that day,always pop up...such as,you went up to genting,the PD road trip,your bday and many more...things you say...i'll never forget...i'm sorry once again & i love you~

eh ck,this part for u...i where got "9 em dap 8" o? cannot happy 1 meh?! BISHHH~!!! i damn happy ar...luckily u're not beside me...if not,hmph...sure fan sei...hahha...and another thing,you no need to bang me head to the wall jor lar...lolz...blek =P

she falls once more...

2010-04-21T17:53:00.019+08:00

it's pichas time...lolz..below are the pictures of my saturday outing...when to solaris...had been turning round and round searching for some restaurant we haven been to...but in the end,we still chose ole-ole bali...food was delicious...i love the beef and marsh potato~!!

this is the best shot i could get while sitting

the stick 1 is very delicious,spicy as well...

i love the marsh potato and the beef a lot~!!

on the way up to genting...a very disappointing hair cut and i still hate the fringe~!!!

while taking a break off from study at the library...signing "shh"

had my exam today...didnt get enough sleep as usual..i just slept for 2 hours...i just cant sleep at all...stress out...and i didnt have the appetite to eat...but still,i gotta to eat right? cuz paper's at 2pm...i munch on some crackers and then i'm off to library...it was freaking cold...ytdy too...i know how to do the calculations part but as for the theory,well...it's kinda tough...but i guess i can pass lar =)

some where in between,during my examinations,my heart hurts all of the sudden and it pumps rapidly...sigh...heart problem eh? or i guess it's just tat i didnt have enough of sleep...

Recently : i've been thinking a lot...just a lot...you cant even imagine it...and i do wish i could stop...now tat my exams is over,it even make it worse...cuz i'll have lotsa free time to think and imagine stuff...i need a job badly...to keep myself busy...there's sumthing...shall i type it out here or verbally tell my frens bout it or shall i just kept it to myself?

Ask me for password for this part of the post

i cant anymore...

chosen to keep it to myself~

off the coast~

2010-04-19T03:06:00.007+08:00

let's see...i hadnt been onlining much...even if i do,status was away...friday,i went to PC Fair...i'm sorry Jon that i'm late...cuz i tot you'll be too so i might as well had my brunch at home first...and tat's wat made me late...before boarding on the lrt,i received a call from dad...he asked me to buy DVD discs...and heck! i checked my wallet,if i buy the discs,means not enough for my external hard disk lar...i was planning to use credit card but end up,i just bought the DVDs cuz there's just sooo much to be choosen from...

purpose to go there was to survey on the price of my laptop,get external hard disk and any of the accessories...and ofcuz to lepak as well...wy joined us too...it was sooooo tiring...not to mention at the end of the last hall,there goes nightmare...those broadbands promoters are killers i tell u~!! they're just soooo "long sei" hahah...
at the end of the day,i found out the laptop i wanted is just a bit over budget...but i'll get it tho...no matter wat...i still need to go lowyat and ask more questions on the diff laptops of my choice...then only i get to decide which to buy...

on the saturday,i went to solaris...have dinner at ole-ole bali...with evonne...she's fd's gurl =) the one i've been longing to meet...after that,we headed up to genting...damn sienz ar~!!! the guys were playing pools...and we gurls just sit and watch...sorry my dear evonne,i didnt talk much tat night cuz i'm really sienz and i felt tired...

till sunday came...when we're sitting down to have our breakfast...sist sudd burst out the topic of PC Fair...cuz she wanted to go...and suddenly,my dad asked if i were to buy a laptop...he say he will get one for me...but i better not...it's better i get it by myself...so tat i wouldnt get blame or whatsoever and i can have it all for myself~!! muahahaha...

it's 3plus in the morning right now...surprisingly,i dun feel sleepy at all...will be continue-ing my studies after finishing this....and i had been thinking over some stuffs...something which it shouldnt be thought of at all...well ck,u get me right? same like u lar...always thinking over lotsa stuffs...and i know,you're sure to bang my head onto the wall...lolz...

Oh God~!! make it stop pls...but i just cant stop thinking bout it~!! i just CANT STOP~!!! ARGH~!!! god damn it~!! i know i'm stupid...and shant be thinking at all...alright,back to studies lar then...

feel my pain~

2010-04-16T18:30:00.010+08:00

hadnt been online much for this few days...there's 2 person who kept asking me to rest more...that 2 person i mentioned are HL and BIE~!!! URGH~!! okok...i know lar...and thanks for being so caring yar =) haha...

my medicine is almost finished yet my flu hasnt recover yet...fever's gone...my tongue's still tasteless...not to mention,i've been purging everything out no matter what i eat...what the heck?! sounds like bulimia huh? i'm not lar ok...it's just,i feel like vomit and there goes...the best part is,i SLIM DOWN ALREADY~!!! hahahah...

sometimes,i just wish to have sickness like this...can slim down faster and easier leh...but this time is at the wrong timing lar...i got exam...lolz...i'm sure sweetheart will be angry when he sees this...but i dont think he'll have the time for now =P

bie had been busy busy busy busy~!!! i oso wana get busy~!!! i'm gonna be...since exam's coming soon,i'll be staying home and study only...after that,darling will be back from sg...tat means OUTINGS~!!! muahahha...i'm sooo hoping that there's job for me...it's so unfair that only my sweetheart gets to be busy...i oso wana be busy lar...i wana earn money...i wana WORK~!!! i dun care ar~!!! ish...where's all my agents when i'm free?! when i'm busy taking up the other jobs,they always called at the same time~!!! ggrrrr~!!!

bout yesterday...i dont know wat came into me...but i'm surely to miss my sweetheart LOADS...i woke up 4sth in the morning,cuz i'm struggling...until 6sth,i wake him up to work...but before that,i had this weird dream...to me,it's a nightmare...i dreamt that i'm reading bie's blog with a gurl called him MARK and she fed him...wthell~!!! i oso havent did tat before...after that,i'm wide awake and i sms bie bout this...then only i found out it's only a dream...

in the evening,before i took a nap,i had been lying down on my pillow which i called it *artificial andrew*...some where in between,i cried...i dont know why,but that pillow which i lied down on,somehow really feels like as if it's andrew's shoulders...and at night,i've been bugging hl and ck...becuz i really missed him...WAT IS THIS LAR~!!! miss miss miss...just met a few days before only lar...must be the medicine or the sick eh? hahha...sorry lar bie,i got nothing to blame at already =P i'm sure when ck read this,he's sure to bang my head onto the wall saying,"if you dun miss him,means you dun love him liao lar SILLY GAL~!!!" hahah

i've been very lonely this few days...maybe it's because of my sickness...all i want is you,to come tuck me in to bed and cuddle me up like how you used to...how i wish if you were here when i'm awake...but i know it's impossible...you've gotta work and i gotta stay home...

today,seeing you of being so caring and so concern bout my illness,i'm very happy...i know we met for not even 10 mins,but it's always better than nothing...bie,thanks for coming by yar...i've never look into your eyes for so long already and today i had the chance to do so,a hug from you,satisfied me...i still miss you,sweetheart~

SICK~!!!

2010-04-14T20:35:00.010+08:00

from my previous post,i've been thinking a lot...thanks ck for clearing out my mind...he was asking me,how hooligan was i? and he said,all i did was asking to take photos and posing uglily...noises werent from me myself alone...it was everyone's...and he did say,"i hardly see you crazy" i was like -_-" swt...i'm crazy enough...or am i old? OH NO~!!! but ck,thanks for clearing it out for me =)

back to the topic...today the 14th...well,i've been sick since 13th early in the morning...i was tossing round my bed,feeling hot and cold all of the sudden...and kept waking up at 4sth in the morning,7 am and 9 am...i didnt feel well on that day...dizziness...i just felt so sick...my head and neck,they felt so pain...and the first thing i did in the morning is msg lynn...telling her how worried i am that it is a denggue fever...cuz the symtoms are so alike...and next week,i got exam~!! so i cant be admitted into hosp...it's just sooo wrong timing...

i got up again at 11 sth...cuz i had a lunch date with sweetheart...i wanted to reach 1u at 12...tat was my plan..cuz i wana walk around...but then,i delayed...cuz i was just so sick...lying on the bed...until 12.20 only i left my house...bie was having a meeting...so he might be late...while waiting,i slept in my car until he called...

well,i cut my hair...ofcuz i wanted him to see the best in me...but that slept in the car,make it all messy =( and i do look pale,i know that...sushi zanmai as wat i told him i wanted to eat...but i lost appetite...i ate 2 sushi only...and i went to toilet for 3 times to vomit...bie said that my temperature is really high and i looked red...he even wanted to cancel this lunch and go consult doc with me...but i stopped him...he asked why didnt i tell him earlier...cuz i know he will cancel it like how he did it now...

i know i'm silly...but i just wana spend some time with him...and lately,i've been missing him alot~!! bie accompany me to my car and i said i wana fetch him to his car...he refused but i insist..yes i know,you're gonna say that i'm stubborn...i knew that lar...but fetching u to a carpark which is same floor and not much further,isnt much a trouble for me lar silly...then i went home straight...

get some sleep...till 8sth at night i woke up...dad woke me up to bring me for consultation...well,i'm still lying around my bed,cuz i barely can feel myself...shower then off to clinic...kept waiting and waiting...it's a long queue and i dont feel so good...i wanted to lie down but there're so many ppl around...i just kept holding on...until they called my name...oh,i didnt went to the reception earlier cuz dad registered already for me...cuz if he doesnt,i would need to wait longer =(

i told doc the prob...and he examine me...my throat's temperature was 39.5 deg~!!! that's high...and it isnt denggue or H1N1...tat's wat caused the fever and the sour pain around the body...symptoms are alike to denggue right? luckily it aint...i still gotta go back after 2 days if my fever hasnt recover...my name was called at the reception counter to collect my medications...guess wat? they're 6 diff packets...but in total,i gotta eat 10 tablets =( some double up...i've gotta eat 3-4 times a day...wtheck...damn a lot...and they arent small too...

i went home after that...i dun even have the appetite to eat...even sweetheart who's at cheras,wanted to buy me porridge...but you see,he's so far...takkan i want him to come all the way here...in the end,i just stay home...taken a piece of crackers...then i ate the medicine...halfway thru it,i already felt like wana puke...it's disgusting,and the tablets are so big in size ~!!! =(

then i went to bed after that...cant imagine it...i had been sleeping the whole day and yet i can sleep so early...it's only 10 sth by tat time...i woke up in the middle of the night bout 1 sth...i saw sweetheart's msg...i didnt reply him,cuz i tot it might awake him...i woke up to vomit again...how serious is this gonna be huh?! all i felt is bitterness around my tongue...ewww~!!! those medicine...

till this morning,at 11 sth,i woke up...i saw bie's mms and msg...phone had been shut down cuz it's running out of batt...i saw the time of the mms...baby hadnt been sleeping..it's 3am~!!! OMG~!!! so late...and i msg him...he told me,he only get to sleep at 5am...i'm sorry bie that i kept you worry...

i've been better...still a bit feverish...throat been better too...flu,still the same...still appetite-less...tongue had been tasteless...oh shucks~!!! there goes my dizziness and headaches again..it's time for medication then off to bed...before i end this post...

sweetheart baby,you take a good rest as well too alright? i know you didnt get much sleep last night because of me...dont worry bout me and get some sleep~!!! i know i'm degil,and i'm sorry for that...i'm guilty as well...i know myself very well...and i still went for the lunch because i still can hold on...i just wana spend some time with you...i dont know what's with me this few days...but i've been missing you lots...it's like i'll never be there again tomorrow...funny right? oh, and another thing bie...

i love you

09042010 - A Memorable Night

2010-04-11T19:20:00.026+08:00

09042010 : as usual,i didnt get enough sleep the night before...cuz i'm having exam today...bie was nagging,asking me to get some rest...i did,30mins rest =P early in the morning,i had piano lesson...had my breakfast right after that...then continue to study...till the time bout 2 sth,i went for a bath...then headed to college...

met up with lynn and we had our chats...study as well...it was raining~!! everyone was so nervous...and finally,we can get inside to our venue to sit for the exam...when the exam ends,everyone was so excited of taking photos and deciding where to go for dinner...ended up,we stick to ori plan,to kepong...i forgotten that restaurant's name...

there's 27 of us...yeah,big group...food there was "okay"...we had 4 big tables...sat separately but near to each other...took a lot of photos...yoyo's gang was playing "catch-me-if-you-can" with the food...yes,they're running around...i'll just let the pictures do the talking =) i'll upload it in facebook =P and the bill was RM600++...lolz...well,dun let the figures frighten you...still gotta divide by 27 of us =)

we were all happy...having great times...some are leaving to other states and some are staying...so we made the best of tonite...i'll miss you guys for sure...and wish all of you all the best in everything you do alright =)

mata duitan

10042010 : went to mid valley with sweetheart...he had to met up with his colleagues first then we went to buy movie tickets...we are watching "clash of the titans" FINALLY~!!! argh~!!! it's in 3D summo...we had our dinner first...at cheras...claypot chicken rice...then we went home to watch some videos first before going back to mid valley...cuz show's only starting at 12am...we took some photos with the 3D glasses...i dunno what came into me...but all i was doing is,hugging him a lot...as if i will not be there tomolo...headed home at 2am...i'm sooo tired and sleepy...

11042010 : a very emo day for me...i couldnt control my emotions...they're just so unstable...asked bie a question that had been bothering me the whole night...and i found out,on the very same day,our class farewell dinner,his frens were there...they saw me and yes i know,behaving wild...that's one of the reason i've been very emo the whole day...bie said he's okay with it...but i still wondered,if he is?

bie said that they're too old to see all this...and i know they couldnt feel us anymore...but i'm sure that the photos,the noise that we made,it's gonna me sth memorable...i'm sure that when we're 5 years older and look back,we'll smile for sure for that night...bcuz it's sth what youngster do...takkan we wait till we're old only do all this,and i bet not all old ppl can do all this...before it's too late...we'll never know what's gonna happen tomolo...cherish everything you had today and do whatever you could to make you happy...

the only thing that bothers me is the reputation of my sweetheart's...i've been very very down lately...thinking lotsa things...went out to movie with the family...we watched "how to train your dragon"...met sun too there...so coincidence,same theatre room too~!!! haha...well,i gotta admit that,it's a good movie...and i've a wrong perception of it at first...

went home...i took choc out for a walk...i realize now that everytime i took baby out,it's when i'm down or when i've sth to thing over...baby had been accompanying me the whole day...it's funny,as if he knew how i felt...well baby,mummy thank you for everything you did =)

had fancy dinner with family...it's been so long i didnt have dinner like this...the last time was last year...with the bill of RM500++...i had my favourite "shuet kap"...didnt have bird nest cuz were sold out T.T

sweetheart went to movie with his frens...he even watch "human being" already =( sigh...there's so much movie i wana watch~!!! nobody accompany me go...damn it~!! where are the ppl when you need them...ARGH~!!! i think i might as well watch alone lar like that =(

FYI,i haven even watch "alice in wonderland","beauty on duty","human being" and MANY MANY MORE~!!! i havent even watch the ones before it...it's not showing already =( nvm lar,watch dvd lar lidat...sigh...KESIAN ME LAR PLS~!!! SOMEONE,ANYONE accompany me go watch movie pls~!!!!

bie called after movie ended and after he reached "keranda"...that was 1.40am...to have supper...i decided to wait up as usual...but i fall asleep...somehow,i woke up at 2.17am...i looked at the clock,wondering why bie hadnt call me yet...and i think he might be late cuz need to fetch ah toh back home...while waiting,i fall asleep again...finally he called~!! around 2.24am...now that he had called,i can sleep with relieve...

sweetheart,i've been honest to you all these while...but i didnt know why you always thought that i lied..there're some things that i didnt do with you but rather do it with my frens bcuz i'm not flawless...in fact,i didnt want you to see them either...i'm afraid that you might leave because of the digusted features...that goes with my trademark laughs too...it's not that i still categorized you in the "same-with-other-guys" but it's just that i'm even afraid to show it to my own bf especially when it's YOU...

i love you just as much as you do...i kept my promises,and i do remember what i promised you..first,to be honest...second,never to leave you...i remembered it very well,and i know you do too...there's so much disagreements in between us...but dont worry...there's one person told me to "agree to disagree"...i've learned to aprreciate 0ur differences (yes,even our opinions)...in fact,i encouraged them because i realized now that those differences are what makes each of us unique and special...some ppl might not understand what i'm trying to say,but i hope you do bie...

my aims..

2010-04-08T20:53:00.006+08:00

apparently,i'll be very busy for the coming years...yes...not months...is years...cuz i'll be
focusing on :

my piano practical exam
my studies in ACCA
will be working if i had any free time

my goals :

will be working cuz i wana buy myself a laptop before i'm heading to UK
a new car...yes,all by myself
to buy properties too
i wana build my own career...

so far,that's the plan for now...i'll be busy in my studies cuz it's tough and i wana concentrate...i remember after the 3months stay in UK,they also offer Master programme in Birmingham City...i dunno yet,but for now,i felt like i wana take it =) but who knows,i'll change my mind in the end..and who knows,i might stay and work there...

bout working,yes...i will be definitely but oni if i had free time and oni if there's event going on...work to build up my finance...to get myself a laptop...yes,the one and only LENOVO laptop of my OWN 1~!! haha...cuz currently,i'm using dad's...it's sooo business like...not suitable and he needed to use it...so i need to get my own personal one =)

bout my goals,i'll achieve one by one slowly in the coming years...after i bought the laptop,ofcuz i wana get myself my own car with my own name and own plate number~!! muahahha...as for properties,i'll get it as soon as my financial status is better when i have a career...

i know i know...i'm like planning for the future so fast already...but hey! that's me...one who think a lot,imaginative and also one who think of the future...that's why,i make me very "fan" at times...

will be having our TIA test tomolo...and it's the last day of this programme...will be going to dinner will ALL the mates after that...to take fotos..haha...i guess we're not gonna to meet till our convo...or we might...if we organize a gathering =)

bout bebe : he's been recovering already...but sometimes,he had nightmares till he screams out...and couldnt touch him from behind cuz he'll go shock and bite ppl unless he knew it...get well soon,bebe...

sickness : still the same...flu's been recovering but cough is getting worst...let's hope it'll recover ASAP...cuz i wana go play~!!! muahahhaa..

and now,bout my sweetheart...we had a long conversation on phone last night...as usual,i never gonna hung up first...NEVER~!! and he was silent all the way when i didnt wana hung up...so,i make funny sounds..."bloop bloop bloop bloop" hahha...like bubles...bie always laugh whenever i make this...lolz...

oh and dear xiao yuan,if you're reading this...i'm coming~!!! on the 3rd of may if there isnt any prob coming thru =) yes,be my tour guide and i wana take fotos~!!! not to forget,CLUBBING~!! haha...i'll hit wednesday...dun worry =) miss you loads...and i guess you knew why i chosen that date right? 1st,is because my class will be starting on the 17th...2nd,ofcuz...crashing with my sweetheart andrew's time at singapore...haha...but i might not be able to meet him oso mar...he need to work...so my time is yours...AND dun give yours ALL to stephen ar...leave some to me also K~!! haha...love ya~

06032010

2010-04-07T00:58:00.003+08:00

late for class today...YES...AGAIN~!!! but it's not bcuz of mrr2 jam...it's becuz of the stupid T junction there,the traffic light before my college there had a lorry break down...after class,me,wy and cy went to steven's corner to have our breakfast...went home right after that...

around 1.40pm,i went out...to wy's hse...to pass her the cake and take the software from her...after that i went to bie's hse...online and study a lil there...bie was sleeping...and he hit me on accident on my nose...nose bleeds right after that...i'm still in pain after a moment there...nose kept bleeding this few days...just like this morning at 5sth,it bleeds again...disturbing my sleep...sigh...just thought of sth...i always kena my bf hit one...why ar? before,it was louis,scratching my face...damn it...lucky didnt have scar...and now this..

took a nap...cuz i didnt have much sleep...after i woke up,i used bie's laptop again...open up one of his folders till i saw his blog's header...with evelynn...i wanted to delete it at first...on 2nd thought,i didnt...cuz i havent got his permission...and i open a folder where our comversation 1st started...it really shows how sweet he were by then...talking non stop with me...it's very diff from now...why ar?? why every couples oso like that? things that happen before they were together will be done lesser after they're together...sigh...

went home bout 6.30pm..i asked him to accompany me down...but he didnt want to...i was sad and angry at first...but on the way home,i had been thinking...that it was my wrong...why would i be so "xiu hei"?! i was suppose to not force him to do sth that he didnt want to...and for this,BIE I'M SORRY..

tomolo will have MYOB test...good luck peeps~!! =)

bie,i'm sorry that i pushed you and forced you to do sth that you didnt like...and the worst part is,when i'm angry at you for it...sigh...i'm sorry...somehow,i doesnt look like your understanding gf anymore...i dont know,my emotions are very unstable now...angry,frustrated,annoyed,depress and i even wana fatt pei hei~!!! wat came into me?! i'm suffocating for this =( suffering too...sorry sweetheart...i'm so sorry...

Day 7 - A moment spent

2010-04-06T01:08:00.009+08:00

went to college early today to submit the car sticker renewal form...mrr2 was jam..last thurs too...wondered why...it wasnt like this before...hmmm...so i was late...i met up lynn then we submit the form together...after that,we went for breakfast at bobo

we saw kang pei,cy and ah wei there too...so we joined them...cy didnt go for lectures...she said she's lazy...ck didnt come too...BISHHH~!!! stupid ck...i know you're reading this...the class is damn sienz lar without you guys...and wy brought her new phone...busy with her new phone sending pictures and themes from my phone and hl's...didnt pay much attention too...in the middle of the class,sweetheart called me =) finally he went off work...he asked me whether wana find him anot cuz we hadnt been meeting each other for some time...i said i didnt want to at first...cuz i wanted him to rest...but then,he told me that he need not to...so i decided i'll go..

class ended...i went to meet up with stepmum...we went to carrefour to buy some stuffs...then around 2pm,she sent me back to take my car...by that time,bie called me...i was still in the car with stepmum...after i took my car,i head to "cat road" passing by brem mall...bie said see if can bump into me anot...i was hoping that he could...but traffic was slow moving at his side

FYI,cat road is the term i used when i was sms-ing with bie to indicate JALAN KUCHING...lolz...

i reached his place first ofcuz...i parked my car and i was planning to give him a shock when he reached...i'm looking at the pillars wondering which sud 1 sud i hide in...i wanted to hide in those which are nearer to the lifts but end up,i chosen the parking lot next to his...but planned failed...cuz when he reversed the car,he can see me by the mirror =(

when i was trying to unload his luggage for him,he stopped me =( all i wanted was to help him out a lil...but mayb it's just him that didnt like ppl to move his stuffs like how i am too...so i took a nap...was having headache...my sick,it isnt going anywhere...it's even worse =( bie snores a lot and he's very tired i know...

i woke up around 5 sth...started to online...busy looking for a piece of paper too...cuz i'm planning to leave him a msg and leave his hse without waking him up...i did found 1...after writting the msg,i placed it on his desk beside his bed...right underneath his phone...so that he can read it =) i went home bout 6.10pm...daddy opened the door for me...he asked,"andrew not yet wake up?" and i replied,"no...i dont wana wake him up...he just got back and he's so tired"...

i knew i should wake bie up from his sleep for tonight's setup...just in case he didnt set his alarm...i woke him up at 7.50pm...and i knew he slept back...at 8pm,i called again...
my blur dummy says,"i tot i called you already?"
i said,"yes...and you're sleeping back...wake up~!!"
bie, still in sleepy tone,"but it's not even 9 yet"
curious me asked,"i tot you said u need to reach by 9?"
bie replied,"ya hor~!!! okok..."

haha...he's just so cute when he's sooo blur...and i even asked him to say thank you...haha...i didnt do anything much...just finished up my excel work...and watch tv...and fetch sist back from tuition...

sickness : still the same...cough is getting worse...flu too...and my nose had been bleeding for 3 times today...ytdy did too...but wasnt tat serious...i dun wana see specialist...i'm afraid T.T pls dun bleed already alright? my nose bleeding isnt like normal ppl ones...it bleeds like a running tap water...non stop at all...i just dun wana go to the specialist...it's scary...

silly sweetheart,you wana sleep under my arms with comfy too,you can just tell me...hmmm...sorry bie that i've awaken you from your sleep which is not enough at all...finally,can meet you already today...even though it's a just a short while BUT it is enough for me already...another thing bie...i wouldnt felt left out...i understand bout your work life...so dun feel that way ok? love you,lou gong zai =P

Day 6 - Cheng Ming

2010-04-04T22:55:00.003+08:00

continue from my previous post...woke up very early this morning...for Cheng Ming of cuz...it's so hot...damn~!!! we even gotta walk there becuz it's so jam...even if we use motor,it's still jam...sigh...luckily,our house is quite near...so walking wouldnt be a problem...

the men and boys took the stuff...we gurls just walk taking umbrella...haha...we've gotta go 3 places...sigh...so exhausted...we've gotta walk uphil...and CLIMB~!!! luckily i'm in sports attire...muahahahha...we went to the great grandpa and great grandma's grave first...after we're done,to our grandpa...which we gotta go downhill...there's a longer and smoother path to grandpa's...but aunt, didnt want to...so we took shortcuts instead...and it's so steep going down hills...plus there's river and slippery rocks...it's just like "kembara halangan",in english is called "land of obstacles"...finally we're there...when we're done,we've to go back to the other side to uncle's...sigh...so tired going uphill and downhill...but i enjoyed...just like old times =)

we went home after we settle everything...then,we go for breakfast..to eat BEEF ball noodle...haha..my fav...yes,i couldnt eat...but i still do...and it is in fact still my fav..lolz...then went home,played with bebe a lil while and be a potato couch...lolz...then i took a nap after that...my miad and 3 of my sist joined too..we're really worned out i guess...

had dinner at 6pm...FYI,i've been craving for soup and today i got 1...i'm so happy...hehe..delicious and satisfied with my dinner...after dinner,we went back to kl...we went to night market...cuz daddy wana exchanged sth...then we went home and i took a bath...when i was looking in the mirror,my expression was,"OMFG~!!!!"

guess wat...i got sun tan~!!! DAMN~!!! so dark...my face,neck and all round my hands...sigh...i'm getting darker T.T

right now,i'm here at dePastry Chef with louis...yam cha...this place is the place i first met my sweetheart...

sweetheart,it's still the same words i'm gonna use...i missed our memories,our jokes,our long conversations BUT i still miss YOU the MOST~!! i aint a sweet talker...you knew that...it's everything that what i wana tell you from my heart =) i love you~

Day 5

2010-04-03T12:44:00.003+08:00

woke up early today for piano class...she gave me an aural book to asked me photostat to practice singing at home...she oso gave me another book to help her photostat...i did...i'm curious bout sth...i went to photostat,they asked bout my mum...i went to buy breakfast,they ask bout my mum too...why huh? why so kepoh? mummy had left home long long time ago...bout 3 years back then...i think i'm getting used of this feeling already...after all,divorce isnt sth new in this 21st century eh?

another thing i dun like...someone that i've been long never chat to,came chatting with me this morning...being a typical bitch as she is before...never changed...came by just to ask me,what my bf get for me and how i celebrate...i answered,"owh,bf was working..."
and there she goes again...making a real fuss around...saying how she and her bf celebrate hers and gave her flowers...she knew i never received 1 before...not in bouquet form...i was thinking,so wat?! ish~!!!
i didnt wana talk to her anymore...so i told her i gtg...before she can continue anything that's gonna hurt me...
i remember back then,louis gave me one pink rose...i was in form 4 that year...it's valentine's day...but that was long time ago...

i'll be going back to hometown later in the evening...for cheng beng...let's hope it's not that jam and hoping that tomolo morning will be in cloudy weather =) i havent pack anything yet...shall i bring my sports shoes back? hmmm....long pants and stuff...it's gonna be lotsa mosquitoes...

i'm still having headaches...will be taking a nap after i finish this and after i upload my pics...there's still lots...sigh...

sweetheart,enjoy your night at speedzone alright? i know you told me that might or might not be going...but i can sense,most probably you can go =) after all,it's just rehearsal...silly sweetheart,yesterday the msg i sent you,was wat i wanted to tell you...not being a sweet talker...i meant every word i said...and i'm glad that it made your day =)

Day 4 - Sick

2010-04-02T23:03:00.003+08:00

no classes today...woke up bout 10 sth...lying on my bed...tossing round...then only i get up to bath =P found out that i lost my voice when i'm trying to talk to my dad...went out to buy breakfast for the family with my maid...i didnt do much today...watch tv...online...uploading pics into fb...and i'm having a severe headache...

took a nap at 5sth..woke up bout 8sth almost 9...it is ridiculous~!!! watch tv again...then went over to mum's...after that,i picked my sist up...went home and took baby out for a stroll,while sms-ing with sweetheart...it's been a very meaningless day for me...ntg much to do T.T

sweetheart,there's no need to apologize to me...i understand if you didnt talk to me much for these couple of days...you've been very busy working and there's a lot of things that you need to settle =) i'm here if you ever need me...no matter how late or early it is,i'll pick up your call...

counting down days till i can meet you...it's 16 days...but if i'm working,that's gonna be 20 days =( still a long way to go eh? it'll come =) take a rest whenever you can...take care sweetheart...

Random Day 3

2010-04-01T22:45:00.003+08:00

i'm late for class today...really late..bout 15-20mins...sigh...MRR2 was jam...cant do anything bout that...so just stuck in the middle of the highway,listening to radio...

when i reached,i was in haste to my class...chit chats...after class,me,wy,cy and hl go for breakfast at old place...lynn can go~!!! =) was so happy...when me and lynn reached,we saw lotsa polices,dbkl and license investigator there...it was the shop next to it..big crowds...i didnt get to kepoh bout it cuz i need to pass my IC to abby...

while eating,we chit chats...as usual...they asked,"today is louis's birthday wor..." i answered,"yeap...then?" wy,"going out with him?"...i told her,nope...

and i told them,tat day,andrew and i sat at this very same table oso...haha...and you can guess wat's their reaction =P but i really am happy that wat he did for me mar...

me and lynn went home...as for cy and wy,they went for work...i uploaded a few pics...the ones related to my burfday celebration...it's still in the progress...line's freaking slow...

i'm feeling bored right now...not much that i can do...line's slow...sigh...such a dull day...

sweetheart,i've been listening to "Hey Soul Sister" again...i dont know why,everytime i listen to it,it reminds me of you...i'm missing you tremendously...it's been a very dull day for me...nothing much to do...i'm bored whole day...thought of going to genting to meet you up...but i guess i better not...cuz i know you're very busy with your work...and it doesnt look good with your colleagues there...

i dont know what i can do now...other than playing with bebe,or bring him out for a walk...wat else more? can time passed faster? my other mum called today...i guess you know who...she asked me wat present i want =) hehe...but i told her,ntg else i want now

I MISS YOU,MY SWEETHEART =( all i can do is,view back all the photos we've taken...there's so few of it...well,to me,it is...we shall take more fotos ok? i'm waiting for you to come back,bie...i'm waiting for you to try to squeeze some time for me...i know it hadnt been a good day at work for you again...i wished i could do sth to cheer you up...i wish i could...

Day 2 - Happy Birthday to me & Happy 2 month =)

2010-03-31T22:16:00.029+08:00

Presents from my mates ^^

it's my birthday today~!!! yeap...dai gor lui jor...and mr president made me laugh by saying,"dai ka jie mann sui~!!"...lolz...my mates,cy,hl,wy and ck came over to my house this morning...they gave me a morning call...lucky them that i press the snooze button on my fon...or else,i'll know they're here and the surprise will be a failure...hehe...they came into my room while i'm still sleeping and they sang the birthday song to me loudly till i woke up...i almost burst into tears...i didnt see that coming...then i took my bath and get prepared to go for class...

we had breakfast nearby my hse =) then off we went to college...we did our practice cuz next week we'll be having MYOB test...i finished up my work early...so i took the cake and.....hahah...guess...no,i didnt eat it...i took fotos with it first...then we eat it...we didnt cut it into slices..instead,we took the fork and spoons and eat it up just like tat...we're sharing salivas~!! haha...

we left early cuz me,ck,wy need to go for training..and as for cy,she's off to work...i fetch lynn back home...thanks lynn for coming =) i was really sleepy...training was....erm...i dunno how to say it out...when it almost comes to the end,it's fun...playing a fool with tat funny calvin and he made fun of wy...lolz...went back home bout 5pm...it's raining~!!!

not much of it...took a nap...then woke up bath and go for dinner with my family...i'm having 2 cakes today~!!! 1 is from my mates...the other 1 is from my mum...

THANKS EVERYONE~!! I APPRECIATE IT ALOT~!! FOR THOSE WHO WISHED ME,THANKS FOR REMEMBERING =)

it's my first year birthday when i'm with sweetheart...but due to bie need to work,he couldnt celebrate it with me...sweetheart,dont you ever feel guilty alright? i never blame u and it's NEVER your fault...it's sth you cant change or do also...takkan you leave your work there? i rather u stay back and work...you owe me 1 celebration~!! blek...

ON THE OTHER HAND.....

HAPPY 2 MONTH =)

time felt so short,yet we felt like we've been together for so long...bie left me a msg in fb last night...it says,"to the one, it has been a very happy 2 months for me....i hope it is for u as well...being a part of ur life is my only wish this year...wtv tat is urs...i wana be a part of it... Happy Bday Sweetheart Jessie..."

sweetheart,i'm happy as well =) thanks bie for those wonderful wishes =) you're already a part of my life ever since you step into the door of my heart...i love you~

bie,i had a wonderful birthday with my frens and family celebrating it with me...however,it's still incomplete without your presence =( sigh...i dun care...you owe me 1~!! hehe..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

HAPPY 2 MONTH,SWEETHEART =)

Day 1 without my sweetheart...

2010-03-30T22:40:00.004+08:00

i'm gonna update my blog every single day until the day i meet my sweetheart =) just wana jot down everything and things that happen in my daily life,in case i forgot...a way to show him how i'm doing every single day...but i dun think he'll have the time to read too...nvm it..i'll just write down first...

well,today i was late for class...i woke up late plus,i need to make up for interview...went for lecture as usual...talkative as well too...haha...talking to both hl and wy non stop...cy and ck didnt go for class...after class,i sat wy's car to go for interview...it was a success...after that,we picked cy and her dad up...and off we go to PAVILION~!!!! muahahha...

cy walked with her dad...and i walked with wy...we saw lotsa things and we thought of our bf...i went to a perfume shop to check on which perfume suits bie...i still prefer salvatone feragamo lar bie...cy's dad went over to sg wang and the 3 of us walked together...went to toilet again,the usual stuffs we do...TAKE PHOTOS~!! haha...

then off to dragon-i signature...have our brunch there...pic will be uploaded soon...why do they call it signature when it isnt any much different than the other branches...PLUS the services are bad~!!! PUI~!!! we took loads of pic while eating,before and after...

after that,we went over to sasa to get my birthday prezzie =) i love my prezzie lots~!!! thanks guys...without notice,it's been a year already...time passes so fast...in less than 2 hours,i'll be in age of 20 jor...the number will be starting from 2 d T.T so old...no more teenage years =(

it hadnt been a good year for me last year...hoping that this year will be better

tomolo will be the last day of me driving that proton iswara~!!! WUHOOOO~!!! dad opened up a new team of workers...so the new team needed that car...hahah...but i'll miss driving manual =( i'll drive that toyota wish to class,temporary...until then,dad will get me a new car...consider as a birthday present eh? heheh...i wan toyota rav4 (2 doors) pls...if L size (4 doors) oso can lar =) but if possible,get me the smaller one pls..i love 2 doors...hehe...i dun wan viva ar~!!! lolz...or get me suzuki vitara OR sth similar to the cars i mention...i wan WHITE colour car...ngek ngek ngek...sound so hyper now...in fact i am..

sweetheart,i'm wearing the shirt and pants that you borrowed me the other day...your scent..lolz...i'm missing you T.T sigh...i'm sitting here,wondering what you're doing there,how you're doing there..everything's going on alright? I MISS YOU~

i'm going back to hometown this sat for cheng beng...and bie is at genting...our distances are so close,yet so far...well,if compare to kl,it's way nearer...he'll come back...it's not like he'll be apart with me forever...i'll wait...

BUH BYE TEENAGE YEARS...AND HELLO THE NEW YEAR OF MINE STARTING FROM 2 =)

Updates...

2010-03-30T01:28:00.006+08:00

from my previous post,i said bie will be working at Lot 10 for Earth Hour event...he was super duper tired from the voice i heard...and there's even a chance of him getting an accident...sigh...that night,i called him...he talked to me in a very harsh tone...which i never hear before...i'm heartbroken at that time...the very first time he uses this tone to speak with me...but a moment later,i started to think rationally,that maybe he's just too tired...he didnt have tat intention too...so i just let it go =)

28032010, Sunday : woke up kinda late...but hey! it's the oni day i can sleep whole day...had breakfast with the family at mutiara damansara...bie msg-ed me around that time too...he just woke up...i said i'll go over to his house to spend some time with him...and i get him breakfast too...there's nothing much that i could get for him around tat time...all that is left was chicken rice and economic rice...i chosen economic rice =) i went over after that...

everyone was home...bie was blogging that time...and he didnt wana continue cuz i were there...bish~!!! we watched an anime series called "gate keepers"...sweetheart ate while watching...he said that it was very delicious =) his mum did ask me to stay back for dinner...at first,i said that i cant cuz i need to go back early...but on 2nd thought,it's kinda manner-less rejecting everytime...so i stayed...this was the 2nd time having dinner with the family..

they had steamboat tat evening...his mum came into the room and asked me out for dinner when it's ready...sweetheart was snoring like a pig...haha...so i went out...his sist and mum asked me to wake him up...i did...but i didnt feel like doing so cuz he didnt sleep well for the past few nights plus,it's after an event last nite...

sleepy head did woke up...he was complaining to me,"i wana sleep..i dun wana eat...later later"...so cute...haha...thought of recording his snores to let him listen to it...but i didnt do it in the end...we sat so far away at the dinner table...i was sitting next to his dad and his parent's fren,an uncle...his mum kept taking those foods to me...i'm so pai seh at that time...seriously...after all,it's his parents...she kept asking me to eat more...and at last,i said that i'm full...every1 was,"huh?! you ate so lil only"...i just smiled and looked at bie...baby yana wanted to get off from the babychair and i asked her to finish up her noodle first...she's so obedient..she listens to me and ask me to eat oso =)

i went home after the dinner...on the way,i text-ed bie to ask him to thanks mummy,daddy and audrey jie on my behalf for the dinner..i wondered if he did so..if not,bishhh...this is wat i told him...on my way back,before i reached kl,i can see the dark clouds...the 2 tones is very obvious...scary...with lightnings and thunders...when i'm there,it rains...those big drop rains..went out with family and to night market with sister...guess who i saw there? i saw ryan's fren...jin chong and ah bui...OMFG...i dunno whether they saw me or not OR they just act like they didnt see me...wtheck..i didnt have the chance to say "hi" to them too...

off to mum's side..we wanted to scare her off...so my sist and i sneaked in from the other side...the workers did saw us but we say "shhh"...they smiled..haha...we hide at the counter and by looking at the reflection,we saw mummy coming and we stood up~!!! but it aint fun also..she doesnt go "HUH!!!!" shocking kind of look...instead,just the normal look and she smiled...the customers too..lolz...went home and watch movie while waiting for my sweetheart to reach home safely..he gave me a call bout 1am plus...i hadnt fall asleep yet...instead,i'm trying to upload my pics...i gave up...and i slept at 3sth...

29032010, Monday : woke up late...wanted to have a glass of strawberry milk before going to my class...but i'm 15-20 mins late already...i didnt have it =( have lectures early in the morning...i didnt concentrate much to it cuz i'm playing word puzzle with my frens...haha..i enjoyed it...will be continue-ing it tomolo oso =)

i went to treatment right after my class...there's so much blood around and i'm in pain...i wondered why this 2 weeks,my skin is so sensitive to it...i cant even walk or sit...i had my brunch when i'm home...online after that...pichas had been uploaded...now i'm waiting for wy's side for the rest of it =)

went to oldtown with sweetheart after he's off work...he didnt want to go back first cuz it's raining and for sure,kl will be jam...so he came over and he did his work...in the meantime,i'm onlining there...i drived his car back home bout 7pm plus to fetch my sist over for tuition...and i did bring a lappy for bie...after that,we went off to my mum's to pass sth over to her...baby went home after that...since he's wet and he had stuffs to do...in the coming weeks,both of us wouldnt be meeting each other cuz he'll be very very busy...it's a hectic month for him...will be going off to pavilion tomolo right after my class with mates to choose my present =) and i'll be having an interview tomolo...wish me luck~!!

sweetheart,i'll be missing you for sure...this is the first time we're doing this and i understands that everything has a first time =) until then,i'll have a date with you at mid valley alright? i love you~

psst...psst...btw,i felt sth wrong with my sweetheart...sth mysterious is going on...hehe...i guess it's my turn to be a secret digger eh? =P

vulnerable~~

2010-03-27T17:24:00.007+08:00

wanted to blog the other day...but i was sooo lazy...and when i wanted to do so,the freaking line went down...damn it...

25032010 : my left arm is damn pain today...i wondered...i guess i really did hurt myself during the changing of tyre...sigh...honestly,at that time,i'm really so afraid..call me timid...but i am...but i cant do anything other than made things out MYSELF...sigh...not only this...there are much more things happened around me...in fact,i'm not as strong as how u picture me...even frens tot i'm stronger,much more independent...but i aint...i'm some one who relies on ppl i trust...some one who wanted protection...wasnt doing much today...went to kl for a road trip with my maid...to midvalley and then went back...around 10pm,doris called...alex's ex...went out with her...reach home bout 12plus plus...

260332010 : woke up early today...was really excited over a club night first time with wy and cy...had my piano class too...when i was there,i saw a new dog my teacher just bought...it's a white schauzer~!!! OMG~!!! full white is sooo rare...sooo cute...hahha...i open the kennel and play with it...then oni we start the lessons...she even had a rotweiler too...HUGE~!! but i love it too...i just love every animals~!! haha...after class,i played again...hehe...

when i was home,i online a while then i'm off to bed...suddenly,i thought of going early...bie came to fetch me...i said i wana drive,he said that let him fetch just in case i get drunk...i took a bath,dry my hair,put on my foundation...then baby came over...

when i reached his hse,open my make up bag...i was freaking shocked~!!! i didnt bring my eye lash glue~!! damn it~!!! that's the most important thing and yet i forgotten...oh well,gurls always have ways...i used stickers to make my double eye lid...as for the lashes,i put some water on it and tadaa~!!! it sticks...but i'm afraid that it'll fall off,so i took it off...bie said without those lashes,i still look alright...but i felt that it isnt a complete one...i hug baby and look at him in the eyes..hehe...he praised me,saying i had beautiful eyes =P dun laugh when u see this,and admit it...blek...and he kept complaining to me that,"haihz...dunno why you wana make up so nice...wana go kao zai lar for sure" haha...he kept making me laugh...silly sweetheart...

went i'm done,bie fetched me over to Gsix...went in,then go to toilet,borrowed the glue from cy and there goes...a complete one =) FINALLY~!!! then we linger around...took pichas in the toilet,outside the club and at the table itself...we changed the table after a while...bigger ones...a lot leng lui ar~!! beh tahan...saliva drips...lolz

songs werent good...so didnt get to shake till it was 12am...we went all crazy...haha...sweating lots...trying to seduce them...sitting on the speaker...bouncer kept asking are we alright...sooo nice of him...we went back bout 2 sth...cuz gillian's bf drunk already...and she didnt wana left us all by ourself...i asked bie come,but he didnt wan to..i insist~!! but still,sigh =( but i understands why he didnt wana go...nvm it =)

bie pick me up at south court...i'm already very dizzy when i'm in his car...nope,didnt vomit,no headaches...went home,removed my make up and chge into my pyjamas...i wanted to bath,but i'm lazy cuz of the dizziness...i slept under his arms again...it's so comfortable...i noe i'm like a baby...big baby =P

27032010 : bie fetched me home...and he need to go to his store...to work...tonite he'll be at Lot 10 for earth hour event...my stomach is upsetting me still...i guess i drink too much and didnt have my breakfast...when i was in the car with him,i told him bout our night...how good the bouncer was...kept asking are we alright...then he smiled...i ask him,"HOR~!!! ur spy?~!!" haha...indeed,that is his fren...no wonder sudd chge bouncer...no wonder we sat on the speaker oso didnt scold...other ppl sit,they halau pulak...bie,thanks for giving me protection...i dont know how to thank you...currently,waiting for the pichas to be uploaded =)

bie,i'm so sorry that i made you late...i didnt know u need to reach at 12pm =( i'm so so sorry...feeling really guilty now =( bie,i wana thank you for everything...to be honest,i felt that i'm falling back to square 1...like how i rely on my bf so much...sigh...i felt boys prefer independent gurls,eh? i'll change again =) i'm far too off my limit...u're gonna see a stronger darling =) i just cant go thru my own level...feeling annoyed with myself when i manja u too much...i wondered,if u felt that way too...sigh...anyway,i'll try to chge...currently i'm listening to "Hey Soul Sister"..it reminds me of you...the day we listen this song together,kept repeating..i'm already missing you now=( love you~

learning through the process of it...

2010-03-24T22:27:00.011+08:00

suppose to wake up early today and study my TIA for the test tomolo...instead,i keep pressing snooze button on my handphone...that means,i slept over =( i've been kinda blur since monday...not to mention late...sigh...went to have breakfast with my maid...unfortunately,the shop isnt open today~!!! damn it~!!! so we went to the market and see what's available...have sth there...

went to college as usual...finish up our sample case today...owhhh!!! finally~!!! found out,the questions are very tricky...VERY indeed...and confused too...i'm stupid i guess...me and lynn non stop laughing when we found out what we did wrong..haha...

i went over to bie's house after class...objectives,was to study...cuz his house is located on the top of the hill...i get to breath fresh air with greeneries around at his balcony...ended up,i done nothing..instead,i slept~!! AGAIN~!! yes,a pig..haha..when i was there,bie told me his stories of the renewal of passport...sigh...i'm kinda fan for him oso =(

i went home in the evening...on the way home,i guess the cover of my rims fall...and tyre ran over it...my guess was,it's nothing...that was right after the traffic light outside bie's house...so as usual,drive home using kl route...on the way,i felt sth's not right...so i stopped at the side at jalan kuching...this is where i found out,the tyre's puncture~!!! i took a good look at it again...it wasnt puncture...it was scratched~!! i guess that it's came from the rim that fall off..

such a bad day for me...first,no breakfast...and then now the tyre like this...not to mention tat my fon had been inactive...cuz i asked louis chge to prepaid for me...well,i guess i've gotta do it alone...turn off the engine,on the hazard signals and get down...get everything out...it's so hard,the screw is so tight...and i look at the tools...finally,i can get the spare tyre out...

okay...the tyre was...so so...a bit heavy...but i manage to get it out...there's 2 guys sitting by the railings there...grrr~!! how un-gentleman they are...seeing me like this,they didnt help,instead they thought it was a good show...okay,a good 1 i'll gave u...ignoring them...i took the jack lifted my vehicle up

a few wrong tries...cuz the position of it was wrong...okay...trying to be patience,i took it off and do it again...trying to loosen up the screws from the tyres...i look at the tools again..it must the t-form tool...so i used it...and UH HUH~!!! i was right...then a motor came by...asking me,what happened...i said tyre puncture...

without any hesistation,he helped me...such gentleman he was...he even given me his name card,Mr Tony,i remembered...he helped me with the rest of it...i wanted to put the punctured tyre into the bunk...but it's so HOT~!! then he say,he'll do it..muahahha...so kind of him...i thanked him in the end...appreciate it alots...unlike the 2 guys there,sitting and watching~!!!

"jess, tell u honestly ho, i seriously dun like ur way of being so zzzzzz bei la, when talking abt ur body figure. Some outsiders thinking wat for u care abt it. not evy1's perfect wat. sometimes, when ppl din even mind abt ur body figure, u ady mind that urself 1st. u show to others u lack self confidence la, then only ppl look down on u, u jess, tell u honestly ho, i seriously dun like ur way of being so zzzzzz bei la, when talking abt ur body figure. Some outsiders thinking wat for u care abt it. not evy1's perfect wat. sometimes, when ppl din even mind abt ur body figure, u ady mind that urself 1st. u show to others u lack self confidence la, then only ppl look down on u, u get wat i mean?get wat i mean?"
above was from ck...well,i didnt like it as much as u do too...sigh...this sickness have been following me for years..in fact,i've been getting better ever since end of form 5 year...i'll be better ck...i promised...but sumtimes,ppl around that makes me feel like this...if it wasnt,i wouldnt have this sickness too...i'm not talking bout u guys...talking bout ppl in my past...currents? yes,there are too...but not as much and not as vulgar too...i'll try to cure it =)

i've hurt myself for chging those tyres...sigh...and i even get myself dirty...but it's a good experience =) you might ask,"how do u know how to chge tyre 1? normally gurls dont know" well,i have to thank my uncles and dad for it...daddy trained me before...and as for uncles,they chged it in front of me...so i noe the steps...but being a gurl isnt tat bad after all...i wouldnt get any help,if i wasnt a gurl...get the picture of it? NOT SEDUCING lar~!!! DEFINITELY NOT...some ppl,they thought of the female gender are always weaker than the male...so i guess that's it =)

Look at those dirty hands~!!

the clean ones...can you see red dotties?? well,it's not so clear from here...i'm still having them now...it was caused when i touched the hot tyre and got scratched from the dirty tyre

MIA?

2010-03-23T15:48:00.005+08:00

MIA - Malaysian Institute of Accountants

MIA - Missing In Action

hahah...definitely is the 2nd one...hadnt been updating my blog ever since bie's birthday...well,i'm kinda lazy...and i'm trying to upload those photos...

20032010 : woke up late as usual...then i had to send my sist over for tuition and send them back...was suppose to go over to bie's but there isnt any car at home...in the evening,bie came over and fetch me...i wore sth improper,that's wat he say...then i ask him,where are we going to...kept asking but there isnt any answer from him...all he said was,it's surprise lar...and he kept complaining that he always saw me in heels...sorry bie,everyone knows i love heels till my room is full of it...and i told him that i'm gonna put my slippers in his car the next time...

i was sooo curious and afraid cuz he kept saying i wore sth unappropriate...sigh...but from the road he used,my guess was to putrajaya...and it is...hahah...they have this International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta going on...bie worried that i couldnt stand or walk...well,i guess i proved to him that i could..haha..i even walk on bumpy,full of stones path...champion leh? haha...we watched the beautiful fireworks together...

we went back to his place for a lil while and then off to mid valley to watch movie...baby wana watch daybreakers,but it's sold out...even my alice in wonderland too =( so end up,we watched "edge of the darkness"...bie said,the movie has no link with the title at all..and i couldnt agree more..

was suppose to yam cha with baby on the 21st right after his work...who knows,he went off early...sigh...and i was having dinner with family that time...i couldnt go off...bie understands...but somehow i felt guilty...the feeling was like,having a gf or not,doesnt have any differences...sigh...i'm sorry bie...

met my bie ytdy...went to big tree and yam cha with sun...while waiting to get his car back...i love the lil car...it felt so cosy...so near to my baby...haha...i know i'm silly...hehe..

in the nite...i read his super old blog...tat was in year 2006...yes,i admit...there's jealousy around...well,i coudnt help it...cuz ernest was so perfect...beautiful,slim,even her inner part too...he blog a lot bout her...or was it tat that make me jealous? bout how much he wanted her,helping her to search for a dog from so many pet shops to vets,this and that...baby did ask wat was it...then i told him everything...and i know it's not worth to be jealous over sth which is over...he did cleared my mind =)

bie,i'm so sorry for being jealous for sth which is not worth at all...but like what you said,if i aint sensitive,does it means that i dont have feelings towards you anymore? a normal gurl would be jealous...ernest is one,evelyn is the other...that's why i kept telling you the risk i had...i know,u said,"there's NEVER a risk AT ALL"...but i cant help it,feeling this way...i love you and i dun wana loose you at all...

sweetheart,i will hold on as tightly as i could...but there's a chinese saying,"when you hold to tight,it will die...when u're not,it will go loose and fly away"..i'm afraid that i'm either way..but no matter what happens,i'll be right here...dont worry my silly sweetheart,the jealousy wouldnt get in between us♥ this i promised you...

Happy 23rd,my sweetheart~!!!

2010-03-18T23:55:00.009+08:00

my darling sweetheart,Happy 23rd Birthday to you~!!

a very usual day at college...it felt so windy...there isnt much ppl in college today...or is it i'm early? had excel class then TIA test...while walking back to my car,there goes the wind again...it felt so wonderful...i even felt like staying back...but i couldnt,cuz i have to rush home to have my breakfast and wait for my bie's msg...here goes...

i had planned a suprised for him like a month plus ago...somehow,it's too early and i still need to wait for his confirmation whether he's working or not on that particular day...therefore,i planned more than 1...just as a back up...the original plan was,to give him a surprise with a cake i baked on my own and without his notice,to celebrate with his family too...i would tell him,"i'm nearby your hse...come back home...then we shall have dinner together =)" with this,i'm very sure that he'll be going back home in order not to fail my plan...

weeks passes...and here we are...on the actual day...before the actual day,i did ask him to sms me whether will there be any shows going on the actual day before 12pm...why? becuz i wana bake the cake and sms audrey jie to tell her the plan is on as we pakat together...nope,it isnt in a rush...just taken a couple of hours only...i was waiting today...yet he didnt sms me so i decided to call up and ask...the answer was wat i'm hoping for =) hehe...so i started baking...this time,i chged the ingredients...to a coffee cake instead of choc...the coating of the cake was the same,choc...while waiting for the coating to be freezed,i took a bath and get myself prepared as bie told me earlier that his mum asked me to come along for dinner...

plan didnt go out according to how i scheduled it to be...first,his mum say wana go out for dinner...so bie wouldnt be coming home first instead we'll meet at the restaurant...2nd,i guess bie slightly knew wat i wana do already...my surprise plan had FAILED~!!! it failed like how ppl chop those "REJECT" sign on documents...but on the other hand,i'm happy still...cuz i'm the 1st one who celebrate his birthday with his family =) we went to SEOUL GARDEN (if i'm not mistaken) for our dinner...the food was quite good..but i somehow felt there's sth which is bothering bie...he looked diff...i asked,but he didnt mentioned it out...we went home after the dinner...i ask him again in the car...this time,he told me...silly bie,it's not something that you wanted it to be also...i dun blame you so dun be so fan anymore alright? i watch tv in the living room with his family members,and he's working in his room...after that,had a lil talk with him...went out,mummy asked to cut the cake...so i pulled andrew out and there goes...the lil ones sing the song...sigh...my surprise plan is a failure and so does my cake...it doesnt taste as good...tat's how i felt...i think,we shall take out the cake first for a lil while before eating..i went home after that,as it's kinda late...

Lil one posing for the camera =)

here's your birthday present...that's the only thing he asked...a kiss and accompaniment from his gf...my darling sweetheart,it's going to be a great year...the ones better than you had before...this i assure you =) i'm sorry that we celebrated your burfday like an ordinary one...i knew how much u wanted it to be big like the ones you had in so many years ago...but this is the only one i can afford to give you for now...hope you're happy =)

A lil story of us from the beginning :

we added each other ago,tat was way back...somehow,we didnt have the chance to chat with each other...up till recently,somewhere in jan...i'm having my finals and i'm staying up late as usual,i dunno wat came into me that makes me chat with him in fb..and here it is,the beginning of everything....

i remembered,on the 16th of January...we started sms each other...that was our first time sms-ing each other...i rmb tat nite,i was super hungry and dad wasnt home...i told him bout this and on the spot,he ask whether wana go eat or not with him tho he ate already...i rmb tat time,his niece was having a burfday party...so i said yes,cuz i'm really hungry and there isnt anyone to accompany me,yet meeting a new fren...we went to "de Pastry Chef" at manjalara...i rmb i even brought my law notes out to study but i didnt even had a chance to look at it...we were busy talking..haha...bout our pasts....from then on,he dated me out for movies...the first movie we watched was "The Legion" at 1u...for the 2nd movie,we watch "Haunted Universities"...before that,we had "zanmai sushi"...

tho i wana give it a try,but i'm also afraid that i'll hurt him like the ones in his past...up till one day,he came looking for me at times square as i'm shopping,we were suppose to watch movie at pavilion...but i'm lazy to walk over...so after i've done my shopping,we met up and we went to mid valley...we had korean cuisine as our dinner...after that,we watch "case 39"..the movie was a thriller...i even hold his arms becuz it's just so scary...after the movie,it's still early...he wanted to go for sing k...but i say,"it's sat wor...vv expensive one"...luckily he listens...upon no where else to go,we went back to his house...i rmb very well that his parents arent asleep yet...we watch "The Saw IV"...by then,he asked me a very simple question and i have to answer him like so many times...i guess he tot that he heard wrongly or he didnt get wat i meant...and so there we are...our first path...

on the 2nd of feb,he fetched me to putra bus station...that was very early in the morning...i felt kinda guilty...cuz he need to work too...yet,he didnt get enuf rest...until in the evening,i received a sms from him saying that he'll be coming up...he even asked whether is there anything that i would like to bring up or buy AND he even ask whether my frens the same too...he's aint selfish and being considerate too =) not only this...he asked the next day to follow his car down too..he even ask my frens to follow along too,but they didnt want to cuz they had already bought the bus ticket...

on the 16th at nite,he was with me at my hometown at my mum's side...he whispered,"baby,do you remember that on this very same date, it's our first time we sms each other"...i smiled from inside to outside...i asked him,"are you sure??" and then i checked back the msg,indeed it is...i'm happy...happy that he remembered...

he's someone who can really made me feel touched with his words and action...tho it's sth small,sth simple but it is what i want...he did it with his own will...most importantly,it's with his whole heart...

baby,i hope all your wishes will come true =) and i hope you passed your birthday happily...i'm sorry that as your gf,i couldnt give you what you want...i'm sorry that we celebrate it in an ordinary way and i know how much you wanted it to be big like the ones you had in the past..i love you~

Signed ::♥ Forever Yours♥ ::

AFA or AAC

2010-03-16T01:24:00.003+08:00

back then,i decided AFA at the first place...right after the ACCA briefing...i remember,all of us were so anxious on this decision,saying how fast we'll graduate by then...but on the very next day,i still can recalled...it's the day,lynn went sad all day long...becuz knowing that her dad asking her to take AAC,following her sister footsteps,she oso feel secured by this way...after hearing what she told us bout wateva her dad said,i sort of,changing my decision to AAC...1st of all,it's becuz of the safer way,not so risky....2nd,yes...it's frens...i admit...by then,lynn was the closest to me after cy...and i felt that i dun wana risk my future just becuz of AFA,a faster way to graduate...

so then,i was in AAC decision already...but,something happened...something which is really unexpected...something that i dont want,my dad...he just kept going on fire that particular time...and i was so on fire too that i wana leave this house ASAP...so i told lynn the next day and the rest of the gang,that i'm going to AFA....the rest ofcuz,are happy becuz we're almost united...but still,deep down,we all knew tat lynn still couldnt come along with us,we're still sad...i remembered tat time,i tried to convince her to come along,stating all the benefits of it...at first,she wouldnt want to...but then,she had probs too...and she told me,she would like to come along...but still,it's under consideration...

many months back from now,she's still having the decision of being into AAC,just most of it,no matter how much she wana be in AFA...and i dont know wat came into me....and i told her,mayb i'll be going to AAC...

but still come back to present,our final decision is AFA...i chosen this not becuz of frens TOTALLY...just that,at first,this was my number 1 choice too...since the route of this programme is somewhat i preffered,i just go ahead with it...and another reasons ofcuz,staying with the same gang...not that i do not wana make new frens or wat,is that,we've been together with each other for so long...it's not easy having true frens...dun ever say that i went into this programme becuz of them...i chosen this mostly becuz i wanted my future to be better...

this is the last sem for us...frens are leaving,some chosen to stay...like wat ck said,they're like passers in our life,they come and go...i'm sad...becuz the time we spent together,everything we go thru,now,they're leaving...yes,gathering still may be organized..BUT will everyone attend? will everyone be free on the exact time and date? i shall enjoy to the fullest since it's the last path we'll be going thru togeher...MATES,I LOVE Y'ALL~!!! WE SHALL KEEP IN TOUCH OK?!

ABRSM...

2010-03-15T13:54:00.002+08:00

today,i went for my piano exam...the one i took is ABRSM (Associated Board of Royal School of Music) not Trinity...i told my teacher bout this Trinity and i asked her why she didnt let me go for this one instead? all she answered was,the standard set was really low...u'll do Trinity during diploma bcuz ABRSM ones are much tougher...well,i sort of can do...just a lil bit of un-sure kinda feelings...i sat exactly for 3 hours...butt gonna grow bigger,is it sth real or it's just a saying? i'm so tired,bcuz i didnt get some sleep...weather was great...it rains cats and dogs the night before...everyone get to sleep in comfy in such weather except me =(

i'm still waiting for the feedback of my part of my assignment from hl...and waiting for bie to finish up his lunch...to go up and meet him =) while waiting,i'm here to blog...but that's so far for now...will continue it up when i'm able to online at his place =)

bie started working since ytdy's afternoon...at KL Live for Placebo...the actual date for it is tomolo,tuesday...bie went off work early today...he said,those caucasians had done system checking...so tat's it for today,he said...he wanted to go for a swim,but i guess cuz of my appearance,he's lazy already...lolz...i went over just to meet him for a couple of hours only...you may asked,lidat oso can? well,why not? cuz i missed him badly...we slept in each other's arm...the comfy i felt,it's beyond words to describe it...i just love the way he hug me...

i just reached home after stopping from the above and i found out :
something embarrassing i did today...i wrote "summon" on a piece of paper and i place on his windscreen...it was meant to make him laugh BUT at night,when they went for dinner,his mum saw it~!! OMG~!!! i dunno how will i face his mum again...she didnt went angry as she's very strict and i am afraid of her.....instead this time,she smiled asking him,why your gf so cute wan...but still...it's sth embarrassing =(